


It's you

by himmelsky



Category: Eyewitness (US TV), Eyewitness (US TV) RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fiction, Friends to Lovers, I don't prentend this is anything else but fiction, M/M, a little bit of cheating, not too much angst though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:39:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11114361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himmelsky/pseuds/himmelsky
Summary: A piece of fiction where Tyler Young and James Paxton are friends who have feelings for each other. They explore those feelings.Summary Chapter 1: It’s Eyewitness Sunday and episode 8 is airing. The boys watch it together with their friends and girlfriends.





	1. Sunday, December 4th 2016

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, I wrote an Eyewitness RPF… This has been playing around in my mind for ages, so I had to write it. Thanks to those to encouraged me to write it. Your encouragement was what I needed to trust myself and do it.
> 
> This story line starts in the beginning of December 2016, the night episode 8 aired in the US. At this point both guys have realised that their friendship isn’t just a friendship, but they haven’t addressed it (yet). They are both still with their girlfriends. There might be some cheating further down the line, so be warned. I’ll try not the elaborate on it, though.
> 
> There will also eventually be smut, just because I can’t help myself.
> 
> I will be updating regularly.
> 
> Please be aware that English is my second language. Also, I don’t live in the US. I’ve only been to LA once. I tried to do some research, but if there are any mistakes in here with names/places/the American way of doing things, I apologize in beforehand.
> 
> Lastly, this is fiction. I don’t know James or Tyler, nor do I pretend to do. I made this up. I don’t believe that James and Tyler are romantically involved with each other. I mean no disrespect towards Tyler or James. They are great people and actors. I also don’t mean any disrespect towards their real life girlfriends. They both seem like such sweet girls, and both T and J seem to love their girlfriends very much.
> 
> With that said: I hope you enjoy!

Tyler’s POV

He was in the kitchen grabbing snacks and drinks as he heard the doorbell go off. He immediately knew who it was, since everyone else who they had been expecting had already arrived, and he felt expectation rise in his stomach.

He heard his girlfriend go out to answer the door. The sound of people greeting each other happily floated towards him. He couldn’t help it, lingering in the kitchen. He didn’t want to meet him when everyone else was there, in the living room. It would be to public somehow. He wanted it to be more personal than that, more private.

He opened one of the cupboards to get some glasses. He kept placing glasses on the counter top and didn’t notice it at first when someone showed up in the kitchen door way. He only saw him after he had closed the cupboard. There he was, with a small smile on his face, leaning against the door frame, wearing black jeans hanging low on his hips and a white and red plaid flannel shirt. _Damn, he looked hot._

“Hey, you”, he heard James say, before he watched him walk over. He quickly glanced over James’s shoulder to see if anyone was coming into the kitchen, but no one was. He let himself be wrapped up in James’s embrace, James’s arms around his shoulders and his own around James’s waist.

“Hey”, he whispered back against James’s neck. He felt grounded, safe. He felt the uneasiness that he didn’t know had tormented him all day long leave his body.

Objectively speaking, their embrace lasted a bit too long and was a bit too tight, but not to him. He wished it would last longer. That it would be even tighter. He could feel James discretely smell his hair, before he pulled back. He once more glanced over James’s shoulder, nervous that someone could see them. They were just hugging, as friends, but their friends kept teasing them about their on-screen romance and if it was something to it in real life, even though both him and James had girlfriends, and he just didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.

So, he pulled back and gave James’s a smile. “How are you? Ready for Eyewitness Sunday?” They had seen every episode together, meaning they had spent the last seven Sunday nights together, always with some friends and their girlfriends. It had become his favourite day of the week.

“Good, good! Yeah, episode 8, huh? I’m ready! Shit’s about to go down”, James laughed.

“Yeah! Can’t wait to see it!” he laughed back. “People will probably freak over the ending, though. Will Lukas survive?” He said the last sentence in a dark narrative voice, before laughing again. James laughed to.

They stared at each other for a moment, locking eyes, but were interrupted when Tyler’s girlfriend entered the kitchen. “Are you guys coming? Everyone is getting settled and the show is about to start. Did you get the snacks and drinks, Tyler?”

“Yeah, yeah we’re coming”, Tyler said.

James helped him bring the snacks and drinks into the living room. Tyler greeted James’s girlfriend, before he threw himself on the couch, next to James. It was the only spot left, so it wasn’t like ha had a choice. Not that he didn’t want to sit next to James. But now no one could ask questions about it, it being the last available spot and all.

He always made an effort in not making it obvious. Not that they had ever talked about it, about them. It was just that they had gotten so close since they started shooting the show, it just came so natural to them, the smiles they shared, the hugs they gave. Tyler secretively felt such affection towards James, it scared him a bit. And he didn’t think that his friends would understand. He would just shrug and laugh when his friends teased him about James being his boyfriend. James would too. But it wasn’t just a joke. It was something else, something more. He felt it every time he was with James, and it made him… confused.

“Guys, settle down!”, Tyler heard his girlfriend say to everyone in the room. “It’s starting.”

Someone hit the lights and the living room was suddenly enveloped in darkness. He felt James shift next to him, inching just a little bit closer to him. He leaned in a bit too. He could smell James’s scent, a mix between laundry detergent, after shave and his body smell. It felt intoxicating.

About 15 minutes into the episode, he started losing focus. His mind drifted, only thinking about James next to him, and he felt his hand lift and reach, but he stopped himself from grabbing onto James and put his hand back in his lap instead.

Seconds later his hands were twisting in his lap and he changed his position on the couch. He was feeling restless. Their friends were all sitting and staring at the television, engrossed in what was going on up on the screen, from time to time giving comments on what was going on. Even James looked caught up in the episode, only giving him a small smile or nudge against his shoulder whenever they were in a scene together.

He kept shifting and twisting his hands in his lap, before suddenly he felt one of James’s hands cover his own two hands. He took a sharp breath at the sensation and leaned against James as he felt James’s warm breath against his cheek. “Stop fidgeting, Tyler, just relax.”

“Sorry”, he muttered back.

Hidden by the darkness they held hands during the rest of the episode, James occasionally moving his fingers to draw small circles on the lower half of his forearm. He felt himself settle back against the couch and his breathing evened out at a slow pace. _God, he wished they could sit like this forever._ Of course, they couldn’t, and James let go of his hands as the episode ended.

All of their friends were upset at the ending of the episode, with Lukas being shot and all. They had done a pretty good job at not revealing any of the content of the show to their friends, only their girlfriends knew, and both boys laughed and joked at all the comments and questions that came their way as the credits rolled across the screen. “You have to wait for the next episode, guys!” James smirked at them, earning him both a pillow and some chips thrown in his direction.

They did a Facebook live video after the show, answering questions from their fans. As they were about to wrap up, with Tyler explaining that he had to get up early the next morning, he suddenly felt James brush his hair off his forehead. It came out of nowhere and was over as soon as it had happened, but it was the gentlest touch. He felt his heart flutter, but managed to stay calm and unaffected by it. He knew people would leave comments about it after, but he didn’t care.

The night ended with all of their quests leaving simultaneously, causing a chaotic state in the hallway. He didn’t get the chance to say good bye to James properly. They only exchanged a quick glance before the door shut behind James as he left.

He helped his girlfriend clean up in the living room and kitchen, before he headed towards the bathroom.

While brushing his teeth before going to bed, he felt his phone vibrate in his jeans pocket. He couldn’t help but smile, predicting who the text came from.

 _Good night. Had a great time  
_ _See you soon?_

 _Me too.  
_ _Yeah. Hang out next week?_

 _Sure_

_Good night._


	2. Wednesday, December 6th 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys go hiking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already had the draft for this chapter ready when both Tyler and James posted pictures on their Instagram stories from a hiking trip recently. Guess I lucked out on that one, haha!
> 
> They went hiking with Julianne Nicholson and Tyler’s girlfriend. I conveniently left out the two latter from this chapter ;)
> 
> This chapter has both J and T’s POVs.

James’s POV

He woke up and checked his phone. 0945 a.m. He had two unread messages. One from his girlfriend, who had left early for work, wishing him a nice day. And one from his mom, reminding him of his grandmother’s 80th birthday next weekend. _Nothing interesting, then._ He groaned, feeling a bit guilty that he secretly was whishing he had gotten a text from _someone_ else _._

He shoved the feeling of guilt to the back of his head and opened his Instagram instead. He scrolled through the few pictures that had been posted since he got to bed last night, way too late, as usual. _Nothing interesting there either._

Out of habit he went to Tyler’s account. The last picture Tyler had posted was two days ago showing the two of them on set with one of the producers. Tyler was sitting in the middle, and he was standing on Tylers right, leaning towards him with his left arm across Tyler’s neck.

He remembered the day the photo had been taken. They had been goofing around in between takes, Tyler throwing beef jerky at him for calling him his boyfriend in front of a couple of the crew members. The piece of beef jerky had hit him in the face, causing Tyler to laugh so hard that he fell of his chair. _Tyler had the most beautiful face when he laughed._  

He had to smile at the thought of it.

He continued to swipe through some more of the pictures. Tyler had posted quite a few pictures of them together as Philip and Lukas, to promote the show. It wasn’t those pictures he was interested in though. It was the pictures of Tyler alone that always caught his interest. Tyler. Tyler with his wavy hair. Tyler with his big brown eyes. Tyler with his pink lips. Tyler with stubbles on his face from not shaving in a couple of days. _God, he was so hot._

He rolled over on his back, pushing his head back against the pillow. He closed his eyes, but kept seeing Tyler on the back of his eyelids. Tyler, Tyler, Tyler. 

A text came through on his phone. Tyler. It was almost as if he had willed the text to come through. He looked at him phone in amazement.

 _You up?_

_Awake, not up. :-D  
_ _Why?_

_No surprise there :-P_  
_Want to go hiking with me in Griffith Park?  
_ _We could take the dogs._

_Wow, you need me to keep you company  
while walking your dog? Thanks dude._

_Shut up._

_:(_

_Come on. You know I want to see you._

_:)_

_So you’re in?_

_Yeah. But I need breakfast first._

_Me too._  
_Just a catch though._  
_We have to take your car.  
_ _Mine’s still at the garage._

_You are really putting in an effort  
in making this tempting, T…_

 _I know you can’t say no to me._  
_Pick me up in 30 mins?  
We can get something to eat on the way._

_Fine._

_A bit more enthusiasm, please :)_

_Whatever._

_Don’t make me regret asking  
you to come with me._

_I won’t ;)_

 

He smiled as he read through their text conversation. The prospects of this day were looking up. 

He spent another 5 minutes in bed, before he rolled out of it and walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and a hoodie. He had checked the temperature on his phone, and it was supposed to be fairly warm today considering it was December. He put the clothes on, before making his way to the bathroom to use the toilet and brush his teeth. On his way to the hallway he called for Bob, his dog, who instantly came running. He put his sneakers on and grabbed his keys and wallet, already having his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants. 

Tyler didn’t live far away from him, just a five minute drive. They had seen each other regularly after they had gotten back from shooting Eyewitness in Canada. Just hanging out, or taking hikes with their dogs or sometimes even going on double dates with their girlfriends, even though the latter wasn’t one of his favourite activities to do with Tyler. 

He preferred to spend time with Tyler alone. He felt like he couldn’t relax when his girlfriend was there. He didn’t know how to behave naturally, his shoulders would tense up and his fists would clench and unclench and clench back up again. And Tyler would keep giving him these sad looks, which was so fucking painful to watch.

It wasn’t a sad look that met him as he pulled up outside Tyler’s house though. Tyler was already waiting for him with a big smile on his face, also wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. Little Oliver was on the leash next to him.

“Hey, have you been waiting long?” he asked as Tyler got in the car, leaning over to put Oliver in the backseat, next to Bob. The dogs greeted each other fondly before settling down on the floor of the car next to each other. “Good boy”, Tyler said in a soothing voice. James felt a fondness towards him every time he noticed how much Tyler loved the little dog. 

“No, I walked Oliver around the block before you came, so that he wouldn’t pee in your car”, Tyler laughed. “It might take us a while to get to Griffith Park if there’s much traffic. I thought it was better to be safe.”

“I reckon traffic won’t be that bad”, James said, before pulling out into the street. “The usual place?” he asked, referring to their plans to get breakfast. “Sure”, Tyler said. They used to go to this small coffee shop a couple of blocks away, that, according to Tyler, served the best coffee macchiatos on the planet. He never used to drink fancy coffees before the met Tyler, but now he found himself enjoying it and even daring to try new kinds of coffee every now and then. Tyler did that to him, he guessed. Made him try new food and beverages. 

They lucked out and got a parking spot right outside the coffee shop and went in together to get some food and drinks. They agreed to eat in the car, even though Tyler hated eating in the car. He would never let James eat in his car, but now they were in James’s car and so James got to decide, and anyways they were both eager to start the drive to Griffith Park, so breakfast in the car it was. They settled back into the car, placing their coffee cups in the coffee cup holders and unwrapped their subways to start eating.

As James pulled out from the parking lot, a car suddenly came from behind them with too high speed, drove past them, cut in front of them and made its way into the street, making him hit the breaks with full force. As he could see Tyler’s upper body jolt forwards due to the abrupt standstill of the car, his subconsciously concern for Tyler made him throw his right arm across Tyler chest in an attempt to hold him back in the car seat. He felt his own back slam against the car seat, and he heard both dogs whimper in the back.

“What the fuck!” he exclaimed. “Are you ok? That guy shouldn’t be in possession of a driver’s license!”

He looked over at Tyler, who was staring down at the arm that pressed against his chest. He watched Tyler raise both his hands and place them on his forearm, before leaning his head against the head rest of the car seat and closing his eyes. 

“Are you ok?” he repeated concerned.

He heard Tyler let out a breath before answering, “Yeah, that just freaked me out a little. He could have run right into us.”

“Yeah, I know, but he didn’t ok? You’re ok, you’re ok. I… I won’t let anything happen to you, ok?”

“Yeah, I noticed”, Tyler said, squeezing his forearm with both his hands. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” He leaned over to brush away the hair that had fallen over Tyler’s forehead, wishing he could say something else, wishing he would dare to say something more. But… he wasn’t sure how to say it or even what to say. He just felt his chest tighten as he looked over at Tyler, who still had his eyes closed. Tyler looked so vulnerable, it made his heart ache. 

After a moment Tyler seemed to pull himself together. He turned to look at him. “Sorry”.

“Don’t say that. That freaked me out too. It’s not often you have a near death experience”, he giggled.

“Shut up”, Tyler smiled at him.

“What? Here I am at your rescue, and you tell me to shut up? I don’t feel appreciated.” He couldn’t miss the opportunity to tease Tyler now that he seemed to have shaken the experience off of him.

“Oh, you’re highly appreciated”, Tyler scoffed, almost throwing James’s arm back at him with both his hands. He could see the smile in Tyler’s eyes though. He could also see how Tyler’s eyes followed the arm as it settled in James’s lap, like he was already missing it.

Before he could reach back to Tyler, wanting to take his hand in his own, Tyler leaned over to the back seat to check on the dogs, who luckily were just fine.

James sighed loudly as he turned the ignition, the car had stalled after he had hit the breaks, before looking back at Tyler. “Let’s get going, yeah?” 

They drove in silence for a bit, before James couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to see the smile on Tyler’s face, so he handed him his phone. Tyler gave him a questioning look.

“Find us some music?” he asked. “You can choose, but please no sappy love songs, I think we need something up beat.” 

Tyler smiled. “You’re letting med pick the music? When we’re driving your car? Wow, what did I do to deserve this?”

“Once in a life time opportunity, Young. Cherish it, use it wisely, and I repeat, NO sappy love songs”.

“Pft, as if that’s all I listen to. Besides, you loooove when I play you sappy love songs”, Tyler said, winking as him.

“Yeah right”, he denied, realizing Tyler was actually right, but he would never admit it.

He rolled his eyes as Tyler put on some indie rock music, that actually was up beat. But as Tyler started to sing a long to it, he couldn’t keep himself from smiling.

 

Tyler’s POV 

“What’s up with you and parking spaces today?” Tyler asked as James pulled into a parking spot not far from the start of the trail in Griffith Park that they were going to take. “First at the coffee shop and now here?”

Traffic hadn’t been that bad and they had made it here in good time and now they even got a parking spot at the start of the trail, which was almost impossible. Traffic and parking in LA was a mess, something he hadn’t quite gotten used to even though he had moved here from Chicago a couple of years ago. Chicago could have traffic too, sure, but LA was crazy.

“It’s just my awesomeness, I guess”, he heard James say while exiting the car. He followed James’s lead and stepped out of the car, before calling for Oliver. Both dogs jumped out, and he managed to catch both of them before they started to run off to sniff around. He put the leach on Oliver and held Bob by the collar until James came around to his side of the car to put the leash on Bob. He reached inside the car and grabbed the two water bottles they had bought at the coffee shop with their coffee and food, before James locked up the car and they started to make their way to the beginning of the trail. They had decided to take the Hollyridge trail, that lead up to a lookout point behind the Hollywood sign.

The dogs were both pulling on their leashes, happy to be outside. He felt happy too. He was happy to be spending the day outside. He was happy that James had wanted to go with him. He was happy whenever he got to spend time with James. 

They didn’t meet at lot of people along the trail. It was in the middle of the week and in December, so he reckoned they would pretty much be able to have the trail to themselves. He chuckled a bit, thinking about how people in LA think that the weather in December was so cold. It was nothing compared to Chicago. If he were to be in Chcago now, he would be wearing his winter coat, a beanie and gloves. Well, moving to LA had some advantages. Like getting to make a career out of acting, like getting to go hiking in only sweatpants and a hoodie in December, like getting to know James.

They speedily made their way along the trail up to the lookout point. He listened to James taking about a new music project he had just started to work on. Tyler smiled to himself as he listened to James. He loved listening to James telling him stuff. He liked listening to him sing too. James had a nice voice, and he usually sang in the car, just like he did himself too. On the way over here, James had put on Let it go by James Bay, a song they had listened to a lot in Canada. It was like the “official” Philkas song, and they had used to sing along to it together between takes.

“I thought you said no sappy songs”, he had said when James put in on.

“Well, this is an exception”, James had answered, smiling at him.

He hadn’t felt like objecting. 

Now they were standing at the lookout point, taking in the view, not saying much to one another. The silence between them was comfortable. He felt at ease, relaxed.

He pulled out the phone to take some pictures of the view. He decided to post a picture on his Instagram story. He then switched camera to take a selfie with the view in the background. He took a couple, before looking over at James. “Want to join me?” he asked.

“Sure”, James said, smiling at him.

He felt James come up behind him and saw his face appear on the screen. James stepped up close to him, with his chest against his back and his arm around Tyler’s shoulders. Tyler felt his stomach flutter.They both smiled as Tyler took the picture.

“Do you mind if I post it?” he asked, aware that James was still standing close. He wasn’t sure if he should post it though. They usually got a lot of comments when they posted pictures of themselves together, and a lot of the comments clearly indicated that people thought or wished they were together, as a couple. They had gotten used to it by now and they would usually just laugh at it, but somehow he felt like this time he should ask James about it. He wasn’t sure what James would think about it. They had, sort of, gotten closer over the last weeks and something between them felt… different.

“I don’t mind”, he heard James say. “If you can handle all the comments that comes with it”, he added. “You know, people already think you are my smol bean, and that picture isn’t exactly going to prove them wrong”, he chuckled.

“Come on, don’t call me that”, Tyler blurted out.

“Hey, I’m just saying what they call you. Don’t shoot the messenger.”

“Shit, I guess I’ll just keep it on my phone then”, Tyler resigned, feeling really sad about it.

He felt James pull on his shoulder to turn him around. He kept his eyes on his phone as he turned around. 

“Tyler, don’t let people’s comments decide what you post online”, James said. “You can post what feels comfortable to you, and like I said, I don’t mind if you post that picture of us. I’m not ashamed.”

“I’m not ashamed either”, Tyler said, meeting James eyes. “Why would I be ashamed?” He felt a lot of things when he was around James, but never shame.

“I don’t know…”, James said, looking away. “I just thought…”

“What?”

“Nothing, forget about it…”

“James…” Tyler said with a frown on his face. “What is it that you’re not telling me?” James never used to act like this. He didn’t like it. James usually was so uncomplicated and upfront, always speaking his mind. Tyler didn’t know how to deal with the insecure version of him. Because it really felt like James was insecure about something. _Was it about him?_  He didn’t want James so fell insecure about him.

“I just thought you would be ashamed if people actually thought we were together.”

“I would never be ashamed of you, even if people did think that. Why would you say that? Where is this coming from?” He felt his heart pound in his chest. _Why was James saying this?_

“You know what? This is stupid, you are right. Forget I said anything.” James turned around to face the view again. “Should we head back down?”

“Ok”, Tyler said, still confused. But he didn’t push any further. It didn’t seem like James wanted to talk about it.

James kept mostly quiet on the way back down. Tyler tried to lighten the mood by talking about random things. By the time they were approaching the car, James was somewhat back in his normal good mood. Tyler told him about an audition he had coming up for one of the main characters in a horror Movie.

"What!? Your pretty face is going to be in a horror movie!?" James laughed, and then, faking sadness in his voice and eyes: “God, I hope I don’t have to watch you being killed on screen.” 

“Shut up! For all you know, I’ll be playing the killer.”

“Never, Young, _never_ will they cast you as the killer. I reckon you’ll play one of those stupid teenagers who run along, _on their own_ , looking for a friend or girlfriend that has gone missing, knowing that there is a killer on the loose, _and_ who ends up being murdered. I hate when they do that, it is so stupid. Who would do that? Alone, with a killer on the loose? It’s the all time horror movie cliché”, he groaned.

Tyler just laughed.

On their way back home they got stuck in traffic. Tyler didn’t mind. James kept bantering him about the movie, and he just let him, smiling all the way home.

Later that night he sent the picture that he had taken of the two of them at the lookout point to James, adding a text he thought James would like:

  _I’ll always be your smol bean ;)_

  _You will <3_


	3. Sunday, December 11th 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James randomly meets Tyler at the park while walking his dog. Tyler is upset.

James’s POV

“Hey, boy! Come here! Good boy!” James was in the park, walking Bob, who had managed to slip out of his collar, eager to greet a fellow four-legged friend on the other end of the small park. Luckily he managed to get a hold of the dog before the other dog owner got a chance to yell at him for not keeping his dog on the leash. He threw her an apologetic look, before turning around to head in the other direction. He had been walking Bob for half an hour, so he reckoned it was time to go home anyway.

As he started walking towards the park exit, he thought he recognized a familiar figure sitting on a park bench, with his elbows on his knees and his face in his palms. _He would recognize him anywhere._ He made his way over to him. 

“Tyler? What are you doing here?”

Since the park was halfway between their apartments, it wasn’t that strange that Tyler was there, but he didn’t understand what Tyler was doing there, sitting alone, his head bent down like that.

Tyler’s head jolted up at the sound of his voice. He could see that Tyler was upset. He looked pale and tired, his forehead furrowed. Tyler looked relieved though, when he saw that it was James who had approached him. 

“Hey, what’s up, man?” he asked, sitting next to Tyler on the bench. “You don’t look so good.”

Tyler hid his face back against his hands and let out a groan. 

He put a hand on Tyler’s back and rubbed it gently. “Something really must be up for you to be sitting here alone like this”, he said. 

Tyler stayed silent, occasionally rubbing his face against his palms. Unsure if Tyler wanted him to touch him, or even to be there, he removed his hand from Tyler’s back, causing Tyler to let out a small whine. “Please don’t stop”, he heard him say in a small voice. So, he put his hand back on Tyler’s back and started to rub it again. He felt Tyler relax a bit under the touch.

They sat like that for a while, until Tyler sat up, leaning his back against the backrest of the bench. He shifted to put his arm from Tyler’s back to around his shoulders instead and turned slightly towards him so that he could see Tyler’s face better.

“I’m sorry”, Tyler said.

“It’s ok. What’s going on?” he asked, really concerned.

“I… I had a fight with my girlfriend.”

“Oh.”

They didn’t usually talk about their girlfriends. It had somehow become a silent agreement between them that they wouldn’t talk about them when they spent time together. They both knew that the other one was in a relationship, and they even once in a while met up with their girlfriends. Never as double dates though, more at different kinds of gatherings or parties where other people were too. He had to admit to himself that he had been pretty shitty at spending time with his girlfriend lately.

Now that Tyler had brought it up, he guessed the subject of the girlfriends needed to be addressed. “Want to talk about it?” he asked. 

“Wouldn’t it be weird if I talked about it with you?” Tyler asked.

“It might not be my favourite subject”, James admitted, noticing how Tyler looked up at him. “But you can talk to me about anything, Tyler.”

He really meant it when he said that. He and Tyler had had this special connection from the first time they met each other at the chemistry read they had to go through when he was up for the role as Lukas in the show. Tyler had already been casted at the time.

The chemistry read had gone well. The woman in charge of casting actors for the show and one of the directors had made them play out the scene where Philip and Lukas are on the school roof top, after Philip has come out to Helen and Gabe, and where Lukas has a plan to make the two boys keep seeing each other. It was an intense scene, and he had been so nervous before the read. But Tyler has been so nice and chill and talented, that he found himself feeling relaxed and at ease about the whole situation.

He knew Tyler had done chemistry reads with quite a few actors before him, and he was so happy he got the part. Tyler had later, after they had started shooting, said to him that he had told the production team that he wanted James to play the role of Lukas, and James was so thankful. Tyler had just waved him off and pointed out that he deserved it because of his talent. That was so typical Tyler. Always giving praise to others and their talents, and never bragging about his own skills or accomplishments. He was just such a fucking nice guy.

They had really hit it off during the months in Canada while shooting the show. Always talking and goofing around on set. They spent most of their free time together, often with the other cast members, but also just the two of them. Even though they had rooms right next to each other at the hotel, they even talked on the phone at nights sometime, each of them sitting on their bed in their hotel rooms, just a wall between them, talking about everything and nothing. He had never felt such a connection so fast with anyone who had walked into his life before. Tyler made him feel good about himself. He made him smile and laugh. Tyler always was so interested in what he was up to or what his thoughts were on various subjects, if it were music, movies or even politics. 

And since they didn’t live far from each other in LA, their friendship, their connection, didn’t end when they left Canada and got back to LA. They kept meeting up. Not just every Sunday to see the newest episode of the show, but every once in a while, to eat lunch together, to go hiking or just hang out and watch a Movie. 

It was the times where they were just the two of them that he appreciated the most. When he could hug Tyler tight, when he could sit close to him during a movie, when he could brush the hair back from his forehead just to get a better look of the outline of his face and his brown eyes. All of it without anyone seeing them, all of it making him feel more and more close to him.

He hadn’t thought about it at first, but as a few episodes of the show had aired, he started to realise that he might be having more than just friendly feelings towards Tyler. At first it had scared him. He didn’t want to lose Tyler’s friendship. But one day he was picking Tyler up in his car, he didn’t remember where they were going, because that wasn’t important anymore, and he had noticed that Tyler had smelled his hair as he leaned over the midsection of the car to hug him hello. It had planted the smallest little seed of hope, of _maybe_ , in his gut. And when he had pulled Tyler in for a goodbye hug later the same day, he had done the same. He had stuck his nose behind Tylers ear, into the soft curls of his hair, and breathed in. The smell of shampoo and Tyler’s body odour had made him feel dizzy and he had to hold on to him tighter. Tyler had looked at him with the softest eyes as they pulled apart, and it had felt so intimate. It wasn’t like anything he had felt before. 

And the tight hugs, the smelling each other and the looks they shared between them had continued and had even become more frequent over the last few weeks. 

And now he was sitting next to Tyler on a park bench, stroking his back in an effort to comfort him, even though he didn’t know why his friend needed to be comforted. Not that he cared. He realised that if Tyler needed him to, he could provide comfort for him, no matter what the reason was. He hadn’t really seen Tyler upset or sad before, and it made his chest ache and he wished he could make Tyler’s pain go away.

So when Tyler finally spoke, to tell him about why he was fighting with his girlfriend, he decided to listen, even though it hurt him to hear Tyler talk about his girlfriend.

“Things between us haven’t been that great lately”, Tyler blurted out. “I mean, with my girlfriend and I. She’s mad I haven’t been paying much attention to her. And… and I guess that’s true.”

James didn’t know what to say to that. He had a feeling that maybe he was the reason why Tyler hadn’t been paying much attention to his girlfriend, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask about it.

He was sad that Tyler wasn’t doing good. But he also wasn’t the best person to have around when it came to advice on girlfriend trouble, especially when, well, when he sort of preferred it if there wasn’t a relationship at all. Ugh, he felt bad about even thinking it, thinking about Tyler breaking up with his girlfriend. He surely couldn’t say it out loud.

“What are you going to do?” he asked instead.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I just feel…”

“What?” _What do you feel? Please, let me know how you feel._

“We aren’t that close anymore. I mean we’ve been together for over four years. We were so young when we started dating, and a lot has happened since. I think maybe we’ve grown a part.” 

“I’m sorry”, James said. “You don’t think you can reconnect?” he asked, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Tyler kept silent for a while. 

“I don’t know if I want to”, he whispered.

“Oh… How come?” James couldn’t help but ask, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. If Tyler broke up with his girlfriend…

“I… I guess I have something to figure out first”, Tyler said, looking up at James.

He locked eyes with Tyler’s big brown eyes. He thought he saw hope, and maybe affection there. His eyes darted across Tyler’s face, from his eyes, to his nose, to his cheeks,  to his mouth, before settling on the small scar Tyler had on his forehead. Before he even could think about it, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss there. He heard Tyler sigh and felt Tyler’s warm breath against his own throat.

He looked down and saw that Tyler had closed his eyes, and he couldn’t help but pull him close against his chest. Tyler placed a small kiss against his neck before resting his head against his shoulder, leaving his forehead to press against the spot where he has kissed him.

This time it was James’s turn to sigh. He felt a fluttering sensation in his stomach and his heart was pounding in his chest. _Was this really happening? What did it mean?_

“Shit, Tyler… What..? Are we..? Shit…” He cringed about not being able to form a complete sentence. But he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say, or ask for that matter.

“Not so great with words there, Paxton”, he heard Tyler say against his neck, laughing a little bit. “But to answer your question: I don’t know, ok? I don’t have any answers, not yet. Besides, you have a girlfriend too, remember?”

_Shit, Tyler did have a point._ Again, he felt guilty. He didn’t seem to be able to have much affectionate feelings towards his girlfriend lately. He guessed Tyler wasn’t the only one who had hit a bump in his current relationship. He felt bad. He felt confused. He didn’t know what to say, so he said that.

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

“It’s ok. Let’s just sit her for a bit?”

“Ok, we can do that. And I’ll walk you home after, yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.” And he meant it. He would always be there for Tyler if he needed him to.


	4. Saturday, December 17th 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Tyler’s birthday. James comes to the celebration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a little bit of action in this chapter ;-)

Tyler's POV

It was Tyler’s birthday. His girlfriend had treated him to a lunch at one of his favourite sushi restaurants, something he felt kind of ambivalent to. They had had a nice time, eating and talking, it was almost like it had used to be…, but it wasn’t. He still loved her. They had matured together, become adults together, moved to LA together. They had had some great times, and they still did. She was so funny, she always made him laugh. But what he had said to James was true. They had grown apart. The feelings weren’t the same anymore. As much as it hurt him, he realised that this relationship was coming to an end.

But today was his birthday and the holidays were coming up, so this wasn’t the time to break up. He couldn’t be that of a dick. So tonight they were going out with a bunch of his friends at a club in West Hollywood. They had ordered an Uber and were on their way, when a text came through on his phone. He fished it out of his jeans pocket and saw that it was from James.

_Hey Running a bit late, sorry  
__But I’ll be there, wouldn’t miss it  
__Got a dope present for you!_  

He smiled as he read it and quickly typed a reply.

_Don’t sweat it  
__See you soon_  

All of his other friends were already at the club when they arrived. Someone had made a reservation for an entire section, so they all had places to sit and the staff kept coming around to get their drink orders. It was all music, fun and drinks. He wasn’t much of a party guy, but he would let loose once in a while, and today he needed to let loose. He felt himself getting a little bit more than just tipsy, and he enjoyed it. He tried not to let it bother him that his girlfriend kept giving him concerned glances. She probably thought he was drinking too much, but he didn’t care. This was his birthday and he needed to have some fun, dammit.

A couple of hours into the night, he was standing at the bar, waiting to order a drink, to impatient to wait for a staff member to come around to his table again. He was feeling restless, kept looking towards the entrance, hoping to see the one person he wanted to see the most, but who still hadn’t arrived. Even though he had gotten that text telling him that James was going to be late, he couldn’t stop searching for him with his eyes. If he hadn’t gotten that text, he would most likely by this point have been anxious that he wouldn’t show at all and disappointment would have clouded the rest of the evening.

But right now he was focusing on getting another drink at the bar, so when he felt someone brush up against him, hearing a soft “Happy birthday” in his right ear, he let out a little yelp of surprise. He quickly turned around to see James standing way too close to him, his entire face grinning and eyebrows raised. “Miss me?”

James looked damned hot in black jeans, black shirt and a black jacket.

“Hey”, he said, avoiding to answer the question, afraid to say it out loud that he actually had missed him so fucking much, not only the last couple of hours, but the entire time since they last saw each other, since they sat next to each other on that park bench, him with James’s arm around his shoulder, him leaning against James’s chest, placing a kiss against James’s neck. He felt the urge to reach out and touch him, but restrained himself. He couldn’t, not here.

“Glad you could make it”, he said instead. I was just getting a drink, you want one?”

“Sure.”

He turned around to the bar again and James moved next to him, still standing close. He could feel James’s warmth against his own body and swallowed hard in his throat. He gently pressed his thigh against James’s and heard him sigh quietly in response. 

There were many people at the bar so they had to wait to place their order. James kept close the entire time. They didn’t talk much. Tyler was fine with it. He felt himself being too emotional about James finally showing up and didn’t trust himself with words, too afraid he might say something that would reveal his feelings. Even though he reckoned that James had to know by now. He had to know that he was more than just at friend to him. 

When the bartender finally found her way to their spot at the bar, her ordered two drinks. He didn’t need to ask James what he was having, he already knew. The drinks were put in front of them in no time and he managed to pay for both, despite James’s protest.

“It’s your birthday, Tyler. I should be buying you a drink, not the other way around.” He could tell that James was both annoyed and amused at the same time.

“Well, _I_ asked _you_ if you wanted a drink, so _I_ am paying”, Tyler responded while shaking his head, a big smile on his face.

“Uh, thanks then.”

They looked at each other. Neither of them seemed eager to leave the bar to join the group of friends hollering and laughing in the designated section. He guessed he wasn’t the only one who was under the influence considering they had been here several hours already. He looked over at them and saw James’s girlfriend sitting next to his own. They were leaning against one another, clearly engulfed in their conversation. He felt a knot in his stomach at the sight and had to close his eyes for a second, before turning back to James.

“I’m sorry”, he heard James say. He figured James had seen him look over at the girls. He just shrugged and he held onto his drink, which was standing on the bar, with both hands. He didn’t know what to say. _What could he say? I’m thinking about dumping my girlfriend, you should dump yours too?_ James had never said anything indicating that he didn’t want to be with his girlfriend anymore. It made him feel insecure and confused. Tyler felt vulnerable now that he had admitted to James that he was rethinking his relationship with his own girlfriend. Maybe he had been to honest. 

He didn’t feel any less confused when James suddenly raised his hand and softly stroked his right wrist with his index and middle fingers. He looked at the movement and felt his stomach ache at the sensation of it. He looked up at James, before looking over at where his friends were sitting, an action that made James retract his hand. But no one seemed to be paying them attention. He looked back at James, feeling conflicted. He wanted him to do it again, _shit_ he wanted him to do a lot more than that, but at the same time he was terrified. Terrified that someone they knew would see. Terrified of what it meant.

James didn’t say anything, just kept looking at him with a pained expression on his face. _Say something._

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that”, James finally said. _Don’t say that._  

Tyler just turned away, towards his drink, his head hanging down. He watched the drink for a couple of seconds, until he couldn’t resist the urge and downed it, feeling the liquid burn down his throat. Without looking at James, he left the bar, left James, and headed towards the restrooms. He could feel James’s eyes stare him in the back as he walked away. 

He swung the door to the restrooms open and sighed with relief when he saw that there were no one in there. He walked over to one of the sinks, leaned forward to place his hands against it and looked up in the mirror hanging above it. His hair was hanging over his forehead and he looked pale. He was feeling a little dizzy, uncertain if it was the alcohol or his feelings, maybe both.

He jumped when he heard to door open, and had time to feel silly about it, because this was the restrooms of a club on at Saturday night, so it was only to be expected that someone would enter. He didn’t bother looking up, but kept his gaze in the mirror. He heard the guy enter one of the stalls. He turned the faucet on and splashed some water in his face, still not feeling any better. He grabbed some paper towels and dried his face off.

“Are you alright?” he heard a familiar voice say. Apparently James had entered the restrooms without him noticing. He reckoned he had been too preoccupied with splashing water on his face to notice. He turned towards him.

He thought about it, and decided to be honest. “No”, he said.

James looked tormented. “I’m sorry I touched you. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset about you touching me, James”, he responded, averting James’s eyes.

“Oh. Then why are you upset?”

“You know why I am upset, James”, he sighed, still not looking at James.

“I can think of several reasons, but I’m not sure which one it is or if it is one of the reasons I am thinking about at all.” 

He didn’t answer. He couldn’t. _Where they supposed to talk about in now? In here?_

“Please?” he heard James say. “Tell me, why are you upset?”

He could hear James take a step forward, towards him. He took a step back. James didn’t move again.

“I can’t”, Tyler replied.

“You know you can always tell me what’s going on with you, right?” James pushed. “I want to know what you are _feeling_ , Tyler.”

He didn’t know where it came from. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was all those weeks of having these feelings that finally took a toll on him. Maybe he had to find out what James was feeling too.

“I’m not upset you touched me, I’m upset that you can’t touch me in front of people we know.”

“You want me to touch you in front of people we know?” James asked confused. 

He finally dared to look up at James. “Yes”, he barely managed to gasp out.

James didn’t say anything, looking like he had to think about what he had just heard.

“Oh”, he finally said, with a somewhat relieved expression on his face. 

Tyler saw James take two large steps and swiftly make his way to stand right in front of him, his hands resting on his upper arms. His own hands were hanging down against his body, unmoving.

“Are you saying what I think you are saying?” James asked expectantly.

“Why is it just me who has to say what I am feeling?”Tyler groaned. “The last time we met I basically told you that I don’t know if I want to work on keeping my relationship with my girlfriend and you said _nothing_. I don’t know the shit what’s going on”, he exasperated. _Between us_ , he wanted to add, but he chickened out at the last second. 

He looked down at the floor, too scared to watch the expression on James’s face. He felt his heart pound hard and fast against his chest. _Shit, that was too honest._

“Tyler, help me out here. I don’t know what you’re saying. Are you upset that you are still having problems with your girlfriend?” James hands were no longer resting on his upper arms, but he could still _feel_ the touch of them there.

“No! I mean, yeah it makes me upset that I am having problems with my girlfriend. Wouldn’t you be? But that’s not what I’m talking about.” He had raised his voice, almost annoyed now.

They both flinched when they heard a toilet flush. They both stared at the stall door opening, revealing a guy coming out to wash his hands, before leaving. He had forgotten about the guy who had entered as he was standing in front of the mirror before.

“Then what are you talking about?” James asked after turning back to him.

“I… I…”

“You what?” James said softly, bending his head down and tilting it to the side to try to meet Tyler’s eyes.

“I don’t want to be with my girlfriend”, he said, still looking down at the floor. “And I want you to touch me, and… and I want to touch you _all the fucking time_.” The last words came out barely a whisper.

He felt a finger to his chin pressing his head up to face James, before he felt the softest kiss against his own lips. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t even reciprocate. James pulled back, an unsure look on his face. Tyler realised it was his own missing reaction to the kiss that hat caused that look. Before James could make the wrong conclusion, he leaned forward and kissed him back. He saw James’s eyes flutter shut right before his own did. 

This kiss was also soft, but it lasted longer. They both kept their bodies so still, just sensing their lips connecting. All his thoughts stilled inside his brain and he felt a warmth spread across his chest, up through his throat and up to his head. Even his ears, his earlobes felt flushed.

He broke the kiss, just to take a breath and kiss James again, with more pressure this time. He wanted more. He wanted to taste him. He opened his mouth slightly and noticed James do the same in response. He tentatively licked at James’s upper lip and was met with James’s tongue between his own lips. He let James’s tongue inside his own mouth before he made his own tongue dance with James’s between their lips. He realised his chest was now pressing against James’s chest, and James’s hands were gently squeezing against his ribcage. His own hands had found their way up, one resting against the back of James’s neck, the other one fisting the hair on the back of his head, making a soft pull at it that triggered at moan to escape from James’s mouth. He pulled back a little and tightened the grip in James’s hair, just to hear him moan again, a little louder this time. He smiled at the sound, and was rewarded with a smile from James in return, before they were back to kissing again. 

The kiss soon grew more passionate. He felt James push his body against his own, making him move backwards until his back hit the wall behind him. It didn’t make them break the kiss. They were now literally making out up against the wall in the restroom in some club in West Hollywood. His pants were starting to feel too tight and he realised he was getting hard. He moved his hand from James’s neck to his lower back to pull James closer and noticed that James too was hard. He felt James twitch as he pressed their groins together. His mouth let out a disappointed sound as James broke their kiss and pulled back.

“Shit, Tyler”, James said, breathing hard and looking at him with lustful blue eyes. “We can’t do this – _here_.”

“I know, I know. Sorry”.

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I’m not sorry. I… I want to. You know that right?” James’s eyes were insistent, hopeful. “But this isn’t the time or place. Shit, anyone could come in and see.”

“You’re right”, Tyler said, straightened up and tried to adjust in his pants. “I guess we should go back to the others, huh?”

“Yeah. But, before we go… When can I see you again? I… I want to see you again – alone.”

“Um, I’m leaving for the holidays tomorrow. I’m going back home to Chicago for a couple of weeks. I’ll be back some time after New Year’s.”

“Oh. Is… Is your girlfriend going with you?” He could see how uncomfortable James was having to ask the question.

“Yes, she is going home for the holidays too, so we’re flying together.” He knew it didn’t sound good, and he could see James tense at his words. He didn’t want James to be upset about it.

“Look, she is spending the holidays with her family and I’m spending it with mine. I won’t see her that much. But we’ll probably spend New Year’s together. I don’t see how I can get out of that without being a complete dick to her. And I don’t want to be a dick to her, ok? I mean, I’ve been with her a long time. Please understand that, James. We, you and me, can meet up and talk once I get back. I really want to see you as soon as I get back, ok?”

“I get it, I do… It’s just…”

Tyler stepped closer to James and laid his hands on James’s shoulders and squeezed gently. “I know, ok? I wish it wasn’t like this… But, I’ll call you as soon as I am back in LA, ok?”

“Ok”, James muttered, a sad look on his face. He couldn’t resist giving James one last soft kiss, before pulling at his arm, saying “Come on, we have to get back to the others. They’re probably wondering where we are.” 

They went back to his friends, but they sat next to each other the rest of the night. Both him and James had too much to drink. He figured they both needed something to distract them from the fact that even though their words and actions finally had revealed some of their feeling towards the other, they were still prohibited to do something about it. His flight home to Chicago was going to be like shit, he knew it. Not just because of the amount of alcohol he had poured into himself that night, but because he was leaving James after their first kiss, well their first not-Philkas kiss. He wasn’t looking forward to the holidays at all. He had never welcomed January more in his entire life.


	5. Monday, December 28th 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James hasn’t heard from Tyler. James is freaking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Life kind of got in the way and I didn't find the time to proof read and edit this chapter earlier. (I am a few chapters ahead of you guys.)
> 
> When it comes to the content of this chapter: I'm sorry. I promise it will get better soon.

James POV

He was freaking out. Four days had passed since Christmas Eve, and he hadn’t heard anything from Tyler. Not a text, not at call, not a simple “How are you?” or a “Merry Christmas”.

Well, he hadn’t tried to contact Tyler either. After Tyler left, he had sort of been a mess. The Sunday after Tyler’s birthday, he had woken up feeling like shit, real hung over, head pounding and nauseous. He had crawled to the bathroom to puke his guts out and then crawled back into bed. He had felt so sorry for himself, not just because of the hang over, but because Tyler was leaving for the holidays. He knew he was being ridiculous. It wasn’t like Tyler could just stay in LA over Christmas. Tyler had made plans to be with his family, and of course he should be with his family over the holidays. That made sense. That was how it was supposed to be.

But he had thought that Tyler would at least text him the next day, the day after they kissed in that club. He had thought that since Tyler was the one that was leaving, he would be the one to initiate some sort of contact between them. Was it too much to ask for a text that said “Hey, thanks for last night. Hope you are doing ok.” or maybe “Hey, just landed in Chicago. Nice to be back home. How are you?”. Just something to let him know that Tyler was thinking of him?

But then he didn’t hear from Tyler, and then he just felt like it would be awkward if he sent Tyler a text, so he didn’t. And all of a sudden it was Christmas Eve and he still hadn’t heard anything. And by then he had gotten concerned that Tyler maybe regretted everything. That he hadn’t meant it when he said that he didn’t want to be with his girlfriend anymore, or that Tyler wanted to touch him all the time.

And by now, four fucking days had passed since Christmas Eve and he was freaking out. Tyler hadn’t made any promises. He had only said that they would talk once he got back to LA. Why hadn’t he said that they were going to keep in touch over the holidays? These thoughts made him anxious and by now he was convinced that Tyler didn’t want anything more from him than friendship, and he didn’t think that was enough for him. At the same time he was thinking about wether he was ready to give up the relationship with his own girlfriend. After the kiss, he was sure that he was, but now, if Tyler didn’t want anything more, he wasn’t sure, and he felt like a hypocrite.

His mom had kept giving him concerned looks ever since he arrived at his parents’ house in Ojai just before Christmas, because he was being quiet, and he wasn’t usually quiet. He would usually goof around with his little sister or pull pranks on her, laughing his ass off. But now he just sat on the couch in the TV-room at his parents’ house, flicking through the channels, unable to settle on anything to watch, and if he did talk he was either being grumpy or sad.

Today was no excuse. He had switched through all the channels three times. His sister had joined him at one point, but since he couldn’t settle on a channel and he refused to hand over the remote, she had just groaned at him and left. He felt bad, but couldn’t find it in him to apologize or even yell after her to come back and that she could have the Remote.

So now the remote lay in the other end of the couch, where he had thrown it away in pure frustration. He was staring at his phone, trying to write Tyler a text, but he couldn’t decide on what to write. He didn’t know whether he should be casual and fun, like he usually was in his text to Tyler, or if he should confront Tyler with why he hadn’t been in touch, or if he should just ask him how he was and if he was enjoying the holidays.

He considered sending Tyler a stupid Christmas gif, but that was lame, so he quickly dismissed that.

His fingers were hovering over the screen of his phone. This was his fifth attempt in writing a text. He wrote a “Hi”, unable to write anything else. His mind was blank. So he pushed send.

_Hi_

He felt stupid.

Tyler had switched of the function that made the sender of a text know if the text had been read or not. So, he kept staring at the little letters underneath the text that said that message had been delivered. He had no way of knowing if Tyler had read the message. He kept staring at the phone for a while, but when Tyler didn’t send him a text back, he put his phone in his pocket and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. His mother gave him one of her concerned looks when he walked in. He just groaned at her when she tried to say something, grabbed a coke from the fridge and went up to his room. He found his headphones, plugged them into his phone and turned on some music. He lied down on his bed, intent to spent the rest of the evening like that.

It wasn’t until a couple of hours later he felt his phone vibrate where it lay against his chest. He picked it up. His heart made a small jump in his chest as he realised it was a reply from Tyler.

_Hi_  

Ok, he had gotten a reply, but it wasn’t much to work with, but then again his own text hadn’t been either. _Maybe Tyler didn’t know where they stood either?_ He decided to keep it neutral.

_How are you?_

_Good How are you?_  

_Good_

God, Tyler was probably wondering what was up with him. He groaned at his own hopeless attempt to try to figure out what was going on with his friend. He couldn’t even call it an attempt. He should be more invasive, at least just a little.

_What are you doing?_

_Not much. In my room._  
_Going to bed._  
_It’s almost midnight here._  
_I didn’t see your text until now._  
_I was with my family playing board games._  
_Family holiday tradition :)_

He felt relieved that Tyler hadn’t ignored his text on purpose. But he still wasn’t happy, because he still didn’t know why it had taken them so long to get in touch. But he didn’t know how to ask about it either.

_Sounds fun._

_What are you doing?_

_In bed. Listening to music.  
Nice being back home?_

_Yeah. Great being back home.  
Cold as fuck though._

_Haha, has LA made you soft?  
_ _Admit it, you prefer LA now._

_No, never._

_Liar_

_I don’t lie to you_

_I thought that was my line, lol_

_All rights reserved Lukas Waldenbeck, lol_  
_But since he isn’t real, I guess the line is up for grabs  
_ _And I grabbed it_

_Nice_

_Are you being sarcastic?_

_Me?? Never_

_Liar_

_I don’t lie to you_

_:D_

_I mean it  
Not when it counts at least_

_I know_

_Are you really ok?_

_Why do you ask?_

_Because I haven’t heard from you in two weeks  
So I worried something was wrong_

_Nothing’s wrong_

_But?_

_I haven’t heard from you either you know_

_I know, I’m sorry_

_I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me_  
_Since I didn’t hear anything from you, I mean_  
_But are you okay?_

_I’m okay_  
_Didn’t mean to ignore you, sorry_

_That’s ok I know that you’re not though_  
_But you don’t have to talk to me_  
_about it if you don’t want to_

_It’s not that_  
_I don’t want to I just don’t know what to say_  
_I’m sorry_

_:(  
__Don’t apologize_  
_I hate that you’re in Chicago right now_

_I know, me too_  
_I’ll call you when I get back ok?_  
_I think I need to go to bed_

_:( Ok  
_ _Good night_

_Good night_

It took him a while to come to terms with that their conversation had ended. He didn’t come to termt with how the conversation had gone though. He had trouble sorting his emotions, so he read through all of their text, not once, not twice, but three times, trying to figure out… Well, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about anything. Not his own feelings, and certainly not Tyler’s feelings. He didn’t know what the two of them were or where they stood.

On one side, he was happy that Tyler had replied. He didn’t know if he could’ve handled complete silence for another week or however long it would be until Tyler was back. He had enjoyed the texts with the banter. It felt like _them_ , so easy, so fun.

But it was clear to him that something was up with Tyler, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that Tyler was having regrets about them kissing. What else could the explanation to the two-week long silence be? He had the distinct feeling that Tyler was not okay, even though he had said that he was. He didn’t believe it for a second. But he hadn’t felt like pushing Tyler to far on the subject either, afraid that he only would push him further away.

His mind kept circling these thought into the early morning, until he finally fell asleep, still feeling confused and concerned, both for Tyler’s wellbeing and for their relationship, whatever it was.

The next day he woke up to a text message from his girlfriend, asking if she could come visit. He groaned loudly into the pillow and decided to ignore the text. He knew she would be upset and that he would get in trouble for it. But he couldn’t handle being with her now. Not when he was such a mess. Not when he didn’t know what to do. Not when he didn’t know what Tyler was feeling.

Two days later he broke up with her. He figured things weren’t the way they were supposed to be with her, and he felt nauseous at the thought of celebrating New Year’s with her when all he wanted was to be with someone else. It didn’t feel fair to her, going around and faking it. He didn’t want to spend the beginning of the new year with a lie.

After, the break up he left Ojai and went back to his apartment in LA. He spent New Year’s Eve with friends. He wasn’t too excited about celebrating and he drank too much, but other than that it was ok. He did send Tyler a text wishing him happy new year, and Tyler texted him back immediately wishing it back. Other than that, it was silence. James felt frustrated and confused. By now he wasn’t even sure of he wanted Tyler to return to LA. He was to afraid that Tyler was going to tell him that he regretted what had happened between them and that they should stop seeing each other. What a great fucking start of the new year.


	6. Wednesday January 4th 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler’s back in LA and he goes to visit James.

Tyler’s POV

He had flown in late last night. He had hardly slept. He was tired. He was cranky. He was confused. He had spent the entire Christmas break thinking, thinking, thinking. About James, about his girlfriend, about the kiss, about the mess of feelings that kept running through his stomach, his chest, his heart all the fucking time. He was exhausted.

When he woke up that Sunday after his birthday, the hung over set a side, he had felt happy. It was like he could still feel James’s hair between his fingers, James’s lips against his own, James’s hips grinding against his crotch. He felt drunk still. Love drunk.

But as he had to face his girlfriend, had to sit next to her on the flight back home to Chicago, he had felt a squeeze around his chest, an uncomfortable tightness. And the more he thought about it, the more he thought about her and what he had done, that he had cheated, the more guilt he felt.

Being away from James hadn’t exactly helped either. They hadn’t gotten a chance to talk before he left. And he didn’t manage to pick up the phone and text or call him. Even though he knew he should. He was the one that had left for the holidays. He should have called him. Made sure he was ok. But somehow he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Because he didn’t know what to say. Afraid that if he first started talking, _everything_ would come out, and he would sound like a deranged person, because everything was a mess, a mess he couldn’t sort out. And he didn’t know what it would end up With.

He knew that James knew that something was up with him, based on the texts they had sent to each other. He felt bad for keeping James in the dark about what was going on.

Now he was back in LA. He also felt bad that he hadn’t let James know when he was coming back, that he was back. But somehow he felt himself being pulled in the direction of James’s apartment. He had made some lame excuse to his girlfriend and left. Shouted that he was taking the car just before he closed the door. He knew that the only one who could sort out the mess inside of him was James.

And now he was standing in front of the door to James’s apartment, staring at the door bell. He had snuck inside the apartment building as someone had opened the main door to get out. How movie like, he had thought to himself as it happened. Fucking cliché.

He had been standing in front of the door to James’s apartment for at least ten minutes now. He knew James was home. He had heard him through the door, moving around, once in a while changing the music that was playing from the stereo. James wasn’t listening to the music he usually listened to. Tyler could hear some sappy shit playing on the stereo, and he felt his heart ache at the thought that he was the reason James was feeling down. He felt like bailing. He thought about it, but reckoned that if he went any other place than here, nothing would change and he would be feeling even more like shit.

So, he lifted his arm and pushed the doorbell. He heard movement inside and the music got turned down, before James opened the door. Tyler couldn’t look at him, just stared down at his feet. He felt James’s gaze on him. James didn’t say anything, but he heard him shift against the door frame. 

He couldn’t bring himself to look at James, to afraid that he might see sadness or anger in his face. They stood like that for what felt like an eternity. They stood like that until he couldn’t take it anymore. He slowly lifted his right arm, the palm of his hand facing upwards, a silent gesture asking for… He wasn’t sure what. Understanding? Forgiveness? Affection? Love? All of the above? 

He heard James move and felt a hand in his own and an arm gripping around his waist and pulling him into a warm, tight embrace. He leaned his head against James’s shoulder and let out a breath, unaware that he had been holding it in.

They stood like that for a while, before James pulled him into the apartment. He felt James push of his jacket and managed to kick his own shoes off. As he noticed that James had turned his back to him to hang up his jacket, he dared to look up at him. He was wearing black sweatpants and a white t-shirt, which made his skin look even paler than normal. His hair seemed like it had gotten longer since the last time he saw him and several tufts of hair were curled against the side of his neck. He managed to hold his gaze up as James turned back towards him, still feeling unsure of what to expect from the look on James’s face. He felt relieved as he was met with the softest expression. James’s eyes were filled with softness and kindness, and something that he thought was concern. He felt unworthy. He didn’t deserve that, after being mute for almost three weeks.

James didn’t say anything at first, just looked at him with his kind eyes. Tyler felt himself relax a little, before James took his hand and pulled him into the living room, towards the couch. He gently pushed Tyler down to sit and sat down next to him. Not too close, but closer than what would be normal for to guy friends.

James just kept looking at him. Tyler reckoned James was giving him time to find his words, to gather the strength to say something. James knew him, knew that he needed some time.

“I’m sorry”, he said, looking up at James. He wanted to say a lot of things, but felt like he should start with apologizing.

“Why are you sorry?”, James asked. Even his voice was soft. Tyler felt like he didn’t deserve it, the kindness.

“Because I went back home for three weeks after our, uhm, kiss… without contacting you. I know that was a shitty thing to do, and I’m sorry. I should have called you, or at least texted you.”

“Yeah, I have to admit that it hasn’t been the greatest three week of my life.” 

Tyler groaned and put his face in his palms. He had been acting stupid. Of course, his silence had been hard on James.

“Do you regret it? The kiss, I mean?”, he heard James ask.

“No”, he said against his palms.

“Okay…” James sounded confused. “Then why haven’t I heard from you?”

“Oh”, Tyler said, raising his head from his palms, “You thought I regretted it?”

“Well, yeah”, James admitted. “What was I supposed to think?”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I guess I didn’t take into consideration how this affects you. I’m such an idiot.”

“Yes, you are”, James laughed. “But will you tell me what’s going on with you? I’ve no clue what’s going on, Tyler, and it’s killing me. Come on…”

“Do you regret it?”, Tyler asked, feeling stupid, but he had to know for sure, before he could tell James anything.

“No, I don’t regret it. Why are you asking me that? Have I done something to give you the impression that I regret it? Okay, look, I guess I could have called you too, and I’m sorry it took me so long to send you those texts, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me, and I mean, you left the day after, and that sucked.” James sounded frustrated now, but he wasn’t done speaking.

“And… when I finally did send you a text, you…, you didn’t tell me what was going on with you, and I _knew_ something was up, don’t deny it. And that didn’t exactly make it any easier, you know. Fuck, Tyler, it’s been three weeks, and we only sent a couple of texts.”

Tyler felt bad, really bad. James was right. They hadn’t handled this well. _He_ hadn’t handled this well. He couldn’t meet James’s eyes, and got up from the couch and walked over to the living room window. James lived on the eight floor with a view over parts of Beverly Hills. He leaned against the window sill, unable to take in the view, as he kept his eyes closed and his back turned to James, who he reckoned was still sitting on the couch, probably staring at his back. 

He took a few deep breaths, before he dared to speak, hoping his voice wouldn’t crack.

“I’m sorry”, he said and watched how his breath fogged up the window. He pulled away from the window, unaware he had been standing so close to it.

“Stop saying that you are sorry and just talk to me”. He could hear the pleading in James’s voice.

Tyler turned around, his arms crossed in front of his chest. He stared into thin air as he started talking.

“Please, don’t misunderstand. I didn’t regret the kiss, I mean, I don’t regret the kiss. I never will. It’s important to me that you know that.”

As James didn’t say anything, he kept talking.

“You are more to me than just a friend, you know, I think for some time now, and I’m not sure how to deal with it. And I don’t know how you feel about it, about us, and that complicated things. As does the fact that I have a girlfriend, who I guess I cheated on, and I’m not that kind of a guy who cheats, and that makes me feel really bad. I’m kind of disgusted by myself, even though, as I’ve already told you, I think we have grown apart. I still love her, but not in the way I should, I guess. I think I have come to terms with the fact that I should break up with her, regardless of, well, what happens between us, you and me. Fuck, I’m not even sure if you want there to be a you and me. And, I have been thinking about all of this over and over and over again in my head, and I’ve been so fucking confused and sad, but also kind of happy you know. And it felt awful not being with you and be able to talk to you about it, but I guess I needed some time. And also, it didn’t feel like a conversation we should have over the phone or texts. So, please believe me when I say that I didn’t want to ignore you or not talk to you. It’s just… It’s just been too much.” 

He still wasn’t able to look at James. He just kept staring into the space of the living room. He felt relieved after getting all _that_ of his chest, but at the same time, now everything was in the open, and he felt stripped bare. His emotions were no longer hidden inside of him, but out in the open for James to know about. He felt like this, his relationship with James, which was so much more than just two guys being friends, would either carry on and develop into something more, something he longed for, or just burst into a thousand pieces and be ruined forever.

It wasn’t before he heard James get up from the couch that he dared to look at him. He watched as James came up to him. He watched as James lifted his left hand to stroke a few strands of hair of his forehead. He felt the tip of James’s index finger just barely stroke along his forehead, and it made Tyler’s body shiver. He closed his eyes and kept feeling the movement against his forehead, even though James had lowered his hand several seconds ago.

“Thank you for telling me”, he heard James say. “I have been confused too. I wasn’t sure how you felt either. You are more than a friend to me too. I did kiss you, remember? Shit, look at me, Tyler.”

Before he could think about it, his eyes were looking up at James’s and he felt a tightness in his chest, a tightness that held relief and hope.

“I want to kiss you again. Can I kiss you, baby?”

James was looking at him fondly, a small smile on his lips, and Tyler felt so, so relieved, so happy, so ready for this to happen.

“Say that again”, he said.

“What? Me asking you to kiss you? Can I kiss you?” James was smiling wider now.

“No. Not that. You just…, you just called me _baby_ ”.

“Yes, I did.” James was grinning now. “Did you like it?”

“Yes”. He felt himself grinning too.

“Well, then. Can I kiss you, _baby_?”

He didn’t answer, just got up on his toes to gain the height that was necessary to press his lips against James’s. He let his lips linger against the taller man’s lips for a couple of seconds, before he withdrew, but only an inch, to wet his own lips with the tip of his tongue, before he pushed forward again, this time with his lips slightly parted. He tilted his head to the right to get a better angle to make the kiss deeper. 

He felt James’s arms snuggle around his waist and pull him in. He barely managed to wrap his own arms around James’s neck before James squeezed their upper bodies so tight together that it would have been impossible for him to even move his arms if they had been caught between them.

He more felt than heard James hum softly against his mouth. The sensation made his skin tingle all over his body, and he carefully pushed his tongue against James’s lips to get him to open them up for him. James didn’t hesitate and soon enough he was licking into James’s mouth. He tasted like James and a tiny bit of mint, like he had recently brushed his teeth. It felt intoxicating. He didn’t think he had ever experienced a kiss like this before. It was both soft and passionate at the same time. He couldn’t wrap his head around how that was even possible. He felt a weakness in his knees and he tightened the pressure of his arms around the taller boy’s neck, afraid that his knees would give out. As if he noticed that Tyler needed steadying, James fastened the embrace even further. 

They stayed like that for what felt like infinite time. James was the one to break the kiss, to Tyler’s dismay.

“Before this goes any further, and believe me when I say that I really want it to, I think… Well, I want to do this right, and I know you do to, Tyler. I think it wouldn’t be right for us to go any further while you’re still in a relationship.” 

Tyler felt disappointed, but he knew James was right. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if James and him took this to the next level. He wasn’t looking forward to the talk he had to have with his girlfriend though. But for her, and for James, to say the least, he had to end it with her. He needed to figure out what James and him had going on and how they should proceed with it in the future, without the shadow of the girlfriend hanging over them. It would make James and his relationship filthy somehow, and he didn’t want that. Being in James’s arms, kissing him, felt so right, and if they were really doing this, he wanted it to be right from now on. So, he nodded to James words to show he agreed and took a deep breath. “I guess I should leave then, to get it over with. Break up with her, I mean.”

“I don’t want to push you or anything. Just take the time you need, yeah?”

“What about you? What are you going to do? I mean, last time I checked you were also in a relationship. It wouldn’t be right if you stayed in your relationship, would it?”

He watched a small smile form on James’s lips. “I already broke up with her.”

“What? When?” He couldn’t believe James had broken up with her and this was the first he was hearing about it.

“The day before New Years Eve. I know, don’t give me shit about it. It was a shitty timing. But like I said, this hasn’t exactly been the best three weeks of my life. I just couldn’t be with her anymore. It felt so wrong, when my feelings for you kept growing, and I couldn’t see myself being with her anymore.”

“Oh my god, James, and you’re telling med this first now? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. New Years Eve wasn’t much fun though. I had to tell my mom why I wasn’t celebrating with her, and she gave me a lot of shit about it, the timing of the break up, I mean, not that I didn’t want to be with her. _That_ , she said, was up to me of course.” James laughed a little, rubbing his neck, clearly uncomfortable.

Tyler pulled James into a hug. “I’m sorry, but I’m also not, if you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling, dude.”

“Dude? What happened to _baby_?” Tyler couldn’t help but smile against James’s shoulder. He could hear the smile in James’s voice as he replied. “I’m not calling you that again until you are mine and mine alone.” 

Tyler felt his heart melt at James statement. _They were really doing it, weren’t they?_ He had to ask.

“We’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

“Yes, if you want to?” It came out of James’s mouth sounding more like a question.

“Yes, I want to.”

He felt James pull him closer and place a kiss in his hair. “Me too.” 

He left a while later, even though the only thing he wanted to do was to stay with James, stay on the couch with him, stay in the warmth of his arms for the rest of the day. Soon he would be able to, and it would be great.


	7. Monday January 9th 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys meet up after Tyler has broken up with his girlfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, one of the tags for this fic says “eventual smut”, soooo be warned: There is a little bit of smut in this chapter ;-)
> 
> Also, be warned that I am going on vacation, so I'm not sure that I will be able to update next week. I will try though, but please be patient. But don't worry, I will definetely be adding more chapters to this fic!

Tyler’s POV 

The last couple of days had been exhausting. His girlfriend hadn’t taken the break up well. 

He had decided not to postpone it, but had gone straight home after his visit at James’s and told her. Told her he thought they had grown apart, told her he didn’t love her the way he should, told her he had met someone else.

He had had to tell her that he had met someone else. He felt he owed it to her to be honest about it. At first she had just stared at him once he had told. Then she started crying. After hours of crying and repeatedly asking him why, and him explaining it over and over again, that they had been so young when they met and that he had changed, she went completely silent. She didn’t talk to him for hours, just roamed around the apartment, did the dishes, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, all while stomping around and growling words he couldn’t make out. He had just kept to himself on the couch, waiting for what may come next. 

When she was done cleaning, she was standing in the middle of the living room, staring at him. Then she had asked. Asked who they were, the one he had met. She didn’t ask who _she_ was, but who _they_ were. As if she knew. It had made his stomach drop, asking himself if it had been obvious all along, and if she knew, then why hadn’t she said anything before?

But he couldn’t lie. She didn’t deserve that. So, he told her. As soon as James’s name escaped his lips, her tears started falling again. But this time it didn’t last long, before she got mad, furious even. She accused him of making her look like a fool, accused him of disrespecting her in front of their friends, seeing as he had spent time with all of them simultaneously, pretending to be her girlfriend when he was secretively with James. He didn’t argue with her about that, knowing it wasn’t any point. Even if it wasn’t exactly how it had happened, it was close enough to the truth, and he had cheated, so he let her win that part of the argument. He really had been trying not to make it into an argument though. He knew he was in the wrong, so he had mostly kept his mouth shut at this point and waited for her to be done with the crying and yelling, before she went over to ask him questions about how and what and why and how long and how much. He felt like he had to answer some of the questions, but he couldn’t tell her everything. What he was feeling for James was private, and he didn’t want to expose James too much either. What they had was still so fresh, and telling too much felt like betraying the other male.

They had barely slept that night, as she kept them up until the early morning. 

The next day she was back to crying. Then she called her mother and told her that he had broken up with her, which led to even more crying. That night, by her mother’s initiative, she had booked airplane tickets for the following day to spend some time with her parents back home in Chicago. She needed a break, some time to think. He had agreed, of course. He couldn’t hold her back. 

So, the next day, which was Saturday, he had driven her to the airport and walked her to the security checkpoint. He had hugged her and told her that he was sorry, for the millionth time. She had just looked at him, pale face, messy hair and sad eyes. He had never felt as bad in his entire life as in that moment, knowing he had made her hurt like that.

He had spent Sunday in bed. He figured he needed a day to recover from the emotional turmoil he had been through. He needed to wallow in self pity, feeling like shit for hurting another human being in such a ground breaking way. He was ashamed. Not of his feeling for James, but of the fact he had hurt someone he loved.

He hadn’t contacted James to let him know what had happened. He just needed to put some distance between himself and the break up before he could reach out to James. Letting go of a four year long relationship was hard, even though his feelings had changed. Even though he now wanted someone else.

On Monday morning he had picked up the phone and dialled James’s number. James had picked up immediately, as if he had been sitting with his phone in his hand all this time, just waiting for Tyler to call. Tyler hadn’t said much, had just asked James to come over. James had agreed and the phone call had ended.

 ___

15 minutes later, James was at his door. 

Tyler couldn’t fling himself at James fast enough. James didn’t even flinch, just held him tight and pressed his nose against his neck, asking him if he was ok. He couldn’t answer, just clung to the taller male, his forehead against the crook of James’s neck. He felt so relieved to finally be back in James’s embrace. This was where he belonged. He could feel all the tension that had claimed his body the last couple of days leave, and he felt himself relax against James’s body. After a while James’s asked him again. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, now that you are here.” He nuzzled his nose against James’s neck.

“Come on, let’s go inside and sit down and you can tell me what happened”, James said.

Tyler reluctantly pulled away from James to move towards the living room, but James apparently wasn’t having any of the missing contact between them, as he grabbed Tyler’s hand and laced their fingers together as they walked to sit down. It felt nice, even intimate.

Once they had sat down, Tyler told James everything about how the last couple of days had gone down. James didn’t say much, just listened and kept holding Tyler’s hands between his own. As Tyler finished talking, James pulled him into a hug. “Fuck, man. I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, it kind of sucks. But despite everything I feel so much better now. I mean, it was really hard and I guess I have to see her again to sort out the apartment and everything, but I really feel it was the right call, you know? Now I can focus on, eh, you”, he said, blushing as he pulled away to look up at James. “Is that wrong of me to say?” 

“No! Of course not,” James said looking sincere. “Nothing you feel is wrong. I - I really want to focus on you to,” James continued with a smile.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Tyler. Isn’t it obvious by now? Shit, I’ve been having feelings for you for some time now. I want to explore this and see where this might go. What do you think?” James voice was trembling a little and Tyler could see expectation and hope in his eyes.

“I want that too”, he said softly. He watched James’s mouth form into a smile and couldn’t resist to lean in and kiss him.

“So, what do we do now?” James asked after they broke away from each other.

“Now, we have to eat, because I’m fucking starving. I don’t think I have eaten anything proper since before the last time I saw you.” He watched James’s face turn into a frown, clearly in concern.

“Then we are definitely getting food into your system”, James said. “Want to go out and get breakfast, or lunch? What time is it anyway?” James asked, checking his phone for the time. 

“Nah, I really want to be with you, you know, like be close to you, and if we go out I don’t get to do that”, he said blushing. “I mean, we aren’t doing the whole PDA thing in public right now, are we? People will go nuts if they recognize us, and I don’t think I’m up for that.” They weren’t that famous, yet, but they got recognized often enough that they had to watch themselves when they were in Public.

“You’re right. Let’s stay in. Do you have food?”

“Shit, probably not. Grocery shopping hasn’t been on the top of my list lately. Let me check in the kitchen.”

“You know what? I’ll go real quick and do some shopping. There’s a grocery store not far from here, right? Just stay here and relax, ok? I’ll be back in no time.”

“Yeah? That would be great, James. Thank you.”

“Of course.” James leaned in and gave him a quick peck on the lips before he moved to get up from the couch. Before he could think about it, Tyler grabbed James upper arm to stop him from getting up, and returned the kiss. This one a bit more demanding, a bit more passionate. He couldn’t believe he got to do that now. That he got to kiss James without fearing the consequences. He felt James reciprocate the kiss, looking a little dazed as he pulled away to leave. 

As soon as James had left, Tyler looked around the living room. The place was a mess. He hadn’t had much energy to tidy up the place after his girlfriend, his _ex_ -girlfriend, had left. So, he got up and started to tidy up, both in the living room and in the kitchen. Since he hadn’t been eating much, there wasn’t many dishes. He collected what he could find and put it in the dishwasher and turned it on. He even managed to change the sheets in the bed room and to throw the old ones in the washer. He felt like going to bed in new sheets tonight. It sort of represented a new beginning.

He was just about done as he heard James open the front door to the apartment and yelling that he was back, which made him smile. He didn’t smile just at the thought that James was back, but also at the fact that James had just let himself in, without using the door bell. It felt Nice.

He went to the kitchen to meet him. James was already unpacking, but he instantly moved across the kitchen floor as Tyler appeared in the door way to kiss him hello, even though he had only been gone for like half an hour. It made Tyler’s heart swell.

“I can’t believe I get to do that”, James said, grinning. Tyler grinned back, before he peeked over that taller male’s shoulder so see what he had brought back with him. James turned around and headed back to the kitchen Counter.

“I brought bagels and cream cheese, and some eggs and vegetables to make an omelette. And I came across strawberries, so I grabbed some as well”. James was looking real satisfied with himself. “Aaaaand, I went to that coffee shop you love and bought us a couple of macchiatos. I figured you could use a coffee-pick-me-up.” He picked up the coffees and turned around facing Tyler.

“Wow, are you trying to impress me or something? Because if you are, it’s working”, Tyler laughed and reached for the coffee James was handing him.

He noticed James was blushing and went over to lean against the counter next to him to watch him prepare the food. He revelled in the domesticity of it, standing in the kitchen, sipping his coffee and watching James, who he cared about so much, make him food and take care of him. “Thank you, James. This is so nice.”

“Sure, anything for you. I mean, I just went to the grocery store, it’s no big deal.”

“And the coffee shop. Don’t sell yourself short.” Tyler let out a small laugh.

“And the coffee shop. That’s true”. James was smiling again.

“Maybe it doesn’t seem like much to you, but I really appreciate it. I really need this. Knowing that- that you are here, with me. You make me feel good.”

James stopped what he was doing and came over to him. He placed his hands on his cheeks and looked him in the eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed to change his mind and just leaned in and kissed him softly. Tyler hummed at the sensation against his lips. As James pulled back, he heard himself say that he wished he could be doing that all the time. James just smiled and kissed him again. “We can kiss all you want, baby.”

Tyler’s heart melted, “I’m back to being your _baby_ again? 

“Yes. You are all mine now. I mean, if you want to. Sorry, am I pushing to fast?”

“No, no. I want to, I want to be yours. I think I have wanted to for some time now, so I guess it isn’t that fast.”

They stared at each other, soft smiles on their lips. Tyler couldn’t believe how perfect it felt being with James like this, in his kitchen, getting to articulate his feelings for the guy he had been feeling closer and closer to for the last couple of months and knowing that he was having the same feelings. And getting to kiss him, and touch him. It was almost too much. He couldn’t help but put his hands on James’s waist as he leaned up to kiss him.

As James was finished preparing the food, they sat down at the kitchen table to eat. Their conversation was unrestrained, easy. They talked about whatever was on their minds, changing topics as the conversation floated naturally between them. It was like it had been since they first got to know each other. Tyler felt at ease and happy. A part of him ham been afraid that his feelings for James would change them and their relationship. He was relieved that that didn’t seem to be the case. If anything, the honesty and the feelings they shared had made their relationship better. He looked at James, talking eagerly about a photo shoot he had coming up, watched his hand as he gesticulated to make his point come across to Tyler. He loved so see James being relaxed and talking about something he felt passionate about.

He didn’t notice when James paused mid-sentence to look at him. It was first as he heard James’s soft chuckle that his mind caught up and he realized that he had been staring at James for the last minute or so, but not paying attention to what he had been talking about. James didn’t seem upset though, as he smiled, leaned in and kissed Tyler on the cheek before he proceeded to clear the table. He got up to help him, and when they were finished, Tyler made them coffee, and they went to the living room to relax on the couch. 

They spent the day talking, listening to music and watching TV.  Tyler enjoyed how nice it felt, just being with James, keeping it low key.

\---

Later that night, they were lying on the couch, watching a movie. James was lying on his back, and Tyler was on his side, resting his head against James chest. James’s arm was around his back, his own arm lying across James’s waist. It felt cosy and warm, and he was feeling drowsy, certain he could fall asleep like that.

The drowsiness quickly faded as he felt the arm James had around his back move and James’s hand pull at the hem of his shirt, before his fingers were touching Tyler’s bare skin just above his hip. He stayed still as he felt James fingers caress the skin there, drawing small circles. He felt a tingling sensation all over his body. He couldn’t stay still for long, James’s caress making him want to touch too, so he moved his hand to James’s neck and let his index and middle finger stroke the skin behind James’s ear and down his neck. He could feel James’s body shiver beneath him and he heard James let out a small sigh. He looked up at James at the same time James looked down at him, and their lips met in a kiss.

This kiss wasn’t like the kisses they had shared earlier that day. This kiss was needy, almost desperate. He felt James’s tongue lick against his upper lip and he parted his lips to let James’s tongue enter his mouth. He couldn’t help but let out a small moan as he felt James lick against his own tongue. He felt his body heat up and acted on the urge to get up and straddle James. James shifted to gain a more comfortable position now that Tyler’s body weight was on top of him.

The kiss grew deeper, more passionate, as the angle improved as Tyler had moved from lying on James’s chest to be sitting on top of him. His right hand was clutching James left ribs and his other hand was up in James’s hair, tugging lightly, making James moan. He felt James’s both hands move underneath his shirt, stroking his back in long and slow movements. Their bodies grinded against each other as James touch made his back arch a little. All he could focus on was the feeling of James body against his own. Nothing else existed in that moment.

He felt one of James’s hands move further down to palm his ass, causing him to arch his back even further. He was now literally grinding his pelvis against James’s, which made him realise he was hard, and also, that James was hard too. He thought that James had noticed too, because now James was kissing him harder and the hand on his ass was squeezing him.

He pulled away and caused the kiss to break. He waited for James to open his eyes, and as he did, what he saw was an expression of lust and something he didn’t dare to put into words. He slowly moved his hands down to the waistband of James’s jeans and raised his eyebrows in a silent question. James only nodded, and Tyler smashed their lips together again and started to undo the button and zipper of James’s jeans. His hands were shaking a little, and he felt embarrassingly desperate, almost like a horny teenager. 

He sat up and moved further down James’s legs to get enough space to tug at James jeans and boxer briefs and pull them far enough down his thighs to expose the dick that was hiding underneath. Being released from the clothing, it throbbed slightly against James’s stomach, just barely tilting to the left. Tyler couldn’t take his eyes of it and reached out to stroke it slowly from the base and up to the head, making a drop of precome appear at the tip. James let out an almost strangled moan at the touch.

Encouraged by the sound, Tyler wrapped his hand around the shaft and started to stroke up and down, once in a while stroking his thumb over the tip to smear the precome that was trickling out over the head. James let out load moans every time Tyler touched the head of his dick and Tyler could feel James’s body start to shake. It turned him on immensely that James was so affected by his touch, and he felt his unbelievably hard dick press uncomfortably inside his jeans. He wanted to release it. 

As if he was reading his mind, James hand came up and started to unbutton Tyler’s jeans. Tyler straightened up a bit to give James better access, and as the button and zipper were undone, he moved in between James’s legs, lifted his upper body a little and helped to push his jeans and boxer brief down, exposing his own dick as well. It felt amazing to be free from the restraint of the clothes. It felt even better when he felt James’s hand on his dick. At first he could only watch in awe as James started to touch him in the same way as he had touched James. The sight was so hot, and he was unable to breathe until he felt James’s other hand touch his face. He looked up to find James’s lust filled eyes on him.

James touching his face made Tyler focus on the body underneath him, and he leaned forward to place a wet, open-mouthed kiss against James’s lips, before he took James’s dick back in his hand to continue to stroke him. They kept stroking and kissing, moaning into each other’s mouths. It was by far the hottest thing he had ever experienced. He felt himself getting close, and by the way James was moaning and moving underneath him, he figured he was getting close too.

Feeling bold, Tyler pulled back again and looked James in the eyes, before letting go of his dick and lifting his hand up to his mouth to shamelessly lick his palm. Still looking James in the eyes, he lowered his hand, now wet with saliva, pushed James’s hand from his own dick and took them both in his hand. The touch of James’s dick against his own made him squirt a little precome against James’s stomach. He used the wetness in his hand to rub against the head of James and his own dick, creating a mix of saliva and precome to help his hand glide up and down their lengths.

He watched as James could no longer hold his gaze, but had to throw his head against the back of the couch and whatever cushion that he was still resting against. They simultaneously let out a long moan as Tyler picked up the pace and started to chase their orgasms.

Tyler stopped to wet the palm of his hand with his tongue once more, and soon James’s hips were bucking against his own, before he completely stilled. Tyler heard his name pass James’s lips in a last exhale before James reached his climax. Tyler had to look down and watched James shoot between their bodies. The sight made him reach his own peak, and his first streak of come mixed with one of James’s last ones. He kept stroking their dicks until he had finished orgasming and then collapsed on top of James’s chest. “Fuck, that was amazing”, he let out, still high from his orgasm. James only moaned in Return.

They stayed like that for a while, until he felt James’s hand on his cheek, urging him to come up for a kiss. He obliged happily and revelled in the softness of the kiss. They stayed on the couch for a while, making out lazily.

“Stay the night?” Tyler asked. “I want to sleep next to you.”

“I was hoping you’d ask”, James responded. “Clean up first?”

“Yeah, definitely”, Tyler smiled and watched James smile back at him.

They got up from the coach, giggling a bit at the mess they had made, and went to the bathroom together. Tyler reached out and janked at James's shirt to make him take it off and threw it in the hamper once James had gotten the message and taken the shirt of and handed it to him.

"You can borrow a t-shirt of mine, if you want?" Tyler asked, smiling up at James.

"Oh, we're borrowing each other’s clothes now, are we?" James said with a smirk, pulling Tyler closer and lifting Tyler's shirt up by its hem, to make Tyler take his shirt off too, as to signal that if he had to undress, Tyler didn't get to keep his clothes on either.

Tyler was happy to oblige. He wasn't planning on sleeping in his long-sleeved shirt anyway. He reached into the bathroom cabinet to get a wash cloth and moved towards the sink to dampen it. He turned towards James, but instead of handing it to him, he moved closer and started to clean the other male's stomach and chest. He couldn't take his eyes off of James's pale skin, reaching up to touch his chest with his free hand, slowly stroking him across the chest, before he lowered his hand to touch the small roundness of James's belly. He secretly adored the shape of it. But James grabbed his wrist as he tried to move further down to below James's belly button.

He looked up at James, who had locked his fingers around Tyler’s wrist, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. Tyler somehow got the understanding that James was self-conscious and didn't want him to touch his lower belly, and it made him concerned. All he wanted, was for James to be alright, to feel good, to let him know that he was wanted. So, he quickly finished cleaning James's upper body with his free hand and got rid of the wash cloth by throwing it in the direction of the hamper, before he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on James's lips before he whispered "I want all of you". He kept his lips brushing against James's and watched how James kept his eyes closed as Tyler freed himself from the grip around his wrist to carefully touch. 

He let the knuckles of his right hand brush carefully from James's right hip bone, across his belly and over to the left hipbone. He could feel James shiver slightly under the touch. He let his hand rest on James's hip a couple of seconds, before he carefully pulled at it to bring James closer. He had never realised that James might be insecure about this part of his body. James always seemed so carefree and at ease about everything in his life. Seeing another side of him made him feel somewhat protective towards the younger male.

His lips were still lingering against James's lips, and he felt the need to say something, to make James feel better. 

"You know, it isn't just that I feel like my connection with you has changed since we first met, from being my colleague to becoming my friend to being someone I want to spend all of my time with..." He paused as he noticed the small gasp that escaped James's mouth and watched James open his eyes to cast a glance at him. It only lasted a fraction of a second before he fixated his gaze on the floor, like he was unable to look at Tyler. At least his eyes were open now.

"I also find you really, like really, attractive. And I want to touch you, everywhere and all the time. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. Just know that I really like you, yeah? All of you." He reached up to push away the hair that had fallen over James's forehead and left his hand resting against his cheek while trying to look him in the eyes. Finally, James looked at him. He was slightly blushing and he didn't say anything, but Tyler could see a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Tyler felt relieved. 

"Let's go to bed.” Tyler said. “I'll brush my teeth first. Sorry, but I don't think I have a spare tooth brush for you."

James cleared his throat. "Uh, I actually bought one when I was at the grocery store earlier. I think it's still in the kitchen. I left it on the counter while I was unpacking" 

"Planning ahead, huh?” Tyler laughed. “Then go get it."

James's smile grew wider and he went to get it. 

They brushed their teeth side by side, looking and giggling at each other in the bathroom mirror. Once they were done and Tyler was drying his hands off on a towel, he felt James's arms snake around his waist and he felt James's warm breath against his ear. "I find you really, really attractive too." 

Tyler turned his head to place a kiss on James’s lips, before he took his hand and pulled him with him into the bed room. He was happy he had changed the sheets earlier. He never let go of James’s hand, but pulled him with him into bed, under the covers. As soon as James had lied down, on his back, he snuggled close, with his head on James’s chest, just like how they had been snuggled up on the couch earlier that night. It was easily becoming his favourite place to be. 

They fell asleep like that.


	8. Friday January 13th 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys visits James’s parents in Ojai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I'm managing to update even though I'm on vacation!
> 
> This chapter took me forever to write. I'm not that happy about it, but that might be because of how long it took me, idk. On the other hand, it is much longer than the other chapters, more than 6k, so, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments! When I started writing, I was like: If I get like 50 kudos on this, I'm going to be so fucking happy... Getting more kudos after posting a new chapter is such an inspiration. I know there are a lot of people who write that when they post a work in here, but that doesn't make in any less true..!

James’s POV

They had spent the next few days at Tyler’s place, just getting out to go grocery shopping and walk the dogs. James had swung by his apartment to get Bob and a bag of clothes. He had gotten a friendly neighbour who had a key to his apartment to take care of Bob and go on walks with him until he had gotten around to pick him up.

Being together was so nice, finally being able to be together and touch each other without hesitation, doubt or guilt. James had been so relieved and happy when it turned out that Tyler wanted to be with him. He had had some serious doubts over the Christmas Holidays, almost expecting Tyler to withdraw and leave him and their friendship behind.

So, he had found himself making an extra effort to show Tyler how much he appreciated him. He had consequently refused Tyler to get up in the morning and insisted on bringing him coffee in bed, and while Tyler lied in bed sipping his coffee and catching up on the news on his phone (Tyler was a notorious news freak and was always updated on the latest news and what was the current topic in the public debate. James had trouble keeping up.), James made him breakfast in the kitchen. He had started to turn on the radio to catch up on the news himself, because he knew as soon as he called Tyler that breakfast was ready, Tyler would start talking about what he had been reading while lying in bed. If he was going to bring anything to the table, figuratively speaking, he had to be updated too.

He had found himself wanting to make an effort for Tyler, to get to understand his way of thinking and his passions even better than before. The first couple of mornings, Tyler had warned him that James was going to spoil him if he kept it up with the breakfast making, but James didn’t mind. He had thought that if this was going to be their morning routine, and yes he knew it was too early to be thinking about morning routines, but he couldn’t help himself, it was definitely something he could live with. Actually, thinking about it, it was something he wanted. He wanted to treat Tyler nicely, he wanted to do things for him.

Even though James was great at making breakfast (pancakes were his specialty), he sucked at cooking dinner. He had always thought that he would be doomed to a life of eating take out, and he had been pleasantly surprised to find out that not only did Tyler enjoy cooking, he also was good at it. So, they had come to a silent agreement that James was in charge of making breakfast, and Tyler cooked them dinner.

But unlike Tyler, he couldn’t stay away from the kitchen when it wasn’t his turn to make them food. Too fascinated he kept watching Tyler from what soon became his regular spot on the kitchen counter. Once in a while, when Tyler got close enough, he would grab at Tyler to pull him close, so that he could steal a kiss, unable to stay away from him for too long at a time. He had wondered about how he hadn’t known about Tyler cooking skills, and when he had asked Tyler about it, Tyler had just laughed and said that he hadn’t gotten the opportunity to cook for him because they had almost never been alone together in his apartment before, and the few times they had been, James had always insisted on ordering in.

James had argued that had he known about Tyler’s skills, he would have begged him to cook all the time. Again, Tyler had laughed and teased him by winking at him and saying that he had been saving the opportunity to cook for him until he could make a date out of it. James had hopped off the counter and reached for Tyler to pull him into a hug and asked him if they were indeed dating. Tyler had tilted his head up to look at him and had answered with a smile and a simple “yes”. James had felt like his heart was about to burst and something had been making somersaults in his stomach. He had grinned at Tyler like a fool, and Tyler had grinned back, before they had spent the next five minutes kissing in the middle of the kitchen, until Tyler realized that he had to get back to cooking before dinner got spoiled. James had reluctantly gotten back to his spot on the kitchen Counter.

Dinner that night had been nice and easy. They had both gotten a little drunk, as Tyler had pulled out a second bottle of wine after they had finished eating, which they had emptied while lying on the couch, talking about everything and nothing. They had eventually fallen asleep in each other’s arms, still lying on the couch. At 3 a.m. Tyler had woken him up and dragged him with him into bed, where they had snuggled close and fallen right back to sleep.

When they woke up the next morning, James had felt like getting out of the apartment and had suggested that they spend the weekend at his parents place in Ojai, where they could go hiking with the dogs or go biking along some of the trails in the area. Tyler hadn’t needed much convincing. But he had inquired if they were “going as friends” or if James was planning on telling his parents about them. They had decided together that they didn’t want to keep the truth from their families. So, as James had gone back to his apartment to get some more clothes, Tyler had called his parents and told them the news, not wanting them to be kept in the dark if James’s parents were to be let in on the latest development. Since they had cared much about his girlfriend, they were a bit sad about Tyler ending it with her, but they were very supportive when they heard that he had gotten together with James. His mother had expressed that she knew that their relationship had been special. James could tell that Tyler was relieved when he had gotten back to pick him up.

\---

And now they were in James’s car on their way to Ojai. James called ahead to let his mother know that they were coming, and his mother promised them dinner in Return.

“How do you feel about telling your parents?” Tyler asked, looking over at him from the passenger seat. “Are you nervous?”

“A little bit”, James admitted. “I don’t think they have any idea that I might be into guys you know?”

“You don’t think they suspect anything about us? I mean, my mom sort of told me that she wasn’t surprised that the two of us had gotten together, and that she knew that there was something more between us than just being friends.”

“Yeah? Really? I mean I’ve met your parents a couple of times, but I didn’t think we were being that obvious. None of our friends have ever said anything, nor our girlfriends, sorry _ex_ -girlfriends.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. But I think my mom sort of knows that I am into both girls and boys, so I think that’s why she has been more aware of our relationship”, Tyler said.

“You mean, you’re bisexual?” James asked, looking over at him, eyebrows raised and with a curious expression on his face. “You’ve never said anything about it before.”

“Yes, I think I am. I sort of had a crush on a boy in high school and I think that my mom knew about it, but she never made a big deal about it.”

“That’s cool”, James said, smiling at him. “I hope my parents are ok with it. Not that they have ever given me a reason to think that they wouldn’t be, but you know… I’m still å bit nervous about it. And hey,” he looked over at Tyler, “Thanks for telling me. I really appreciate your honesty.”

“Of course”, Tyler replied. “I want you to know stuff about me. If we are going to do this, us I mean, then I think it’s important that we share these things with eachother. I want to know stuff about you too, you know.”

“Yeah. I agree.”

They sat in silence for a while, staring at the road in front of them. James felt like he ought to say something, explain about himself and his sexuality, like Tyler had done about himself, but he wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“So... I um...” he said, feeling a bit stupid.

“James, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

James wondered how Tyler knew what was going on in his head. He also felt relieved and thankful that Tyler didn’t press the issue. “Thanks”, he said, but not feeling quite happy about not being able to explain. He felt a bit lost. “I know I said that I might be into guys, but I’m not sure if that is an accurate description.”

“James, it’s fine. You don’t have to put a label on it for my sake. I only care about how you feel about me, how we feel about each other.”

“Oh, ok. I really like you, you know. But I think I... I want to figure it out”, James said, scratching the back of his head.

“Ok, sure. I really like you too. But you don’t have to put pressure on yourself. Just take your time, ok?”

James could see the concerned look on Tyler’s face, but he couldn’t help himself. He really felt like this was something he needed to figure out. It was something he needed to get of his chest, even though he wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“I haven’t been attracted to other guys before, just you. I was attracted to my ex-girlfriend, so I guess I’m not gay. It wasn’t fake with her, if you get what I mean.”

“So, you are attracted to me, huh?” Tyller grinned at him.

James couldn’t help himself and let out a groan. “Of course, that’s what you got from all of that? Here I’m pouring my heart out to you and all you can focus on is that I think you are attractive!? God, Tyler!”

He watched Tyler laugh hard in the passenger seat. “I’m sorry”, Tyler said, still laughing. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive. I really appreciate that you want to share your thought about this with me”, he said, more serious now. “But, I want you to know that it doesn’t matter to me. I like you just the way you are. And, I also find you attractive”, Tyler said shoving at his shoulder playfully.

“Hey, watch it. I’m driving here!” James was laughing now too. He loved how they could be so at ease in each others company, even if they were talking engaging in such a serious topic. He cast a glance over at Tyler’s profile. He was grinning, and James could see small crinkles around his eyes. He was adorable.

“Shit, I want to kiss you right now.”

“You can kiss me all you want when we arrive in Ojai, ok? Now you’ve got to focus on driving!”

“Yeah, yeah. If you really want to deprive me of a kiss”, James teased. Tyler just smiled at him, leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

They stayed silent for a while after that. He let Tyler fiddle with his phone to queue songs for them on Spotify, and he smiled as he watched Tyler take a selfie with him driving in the back ground.

They still had an hour left of the drive to Ojai, and his mind wandered. When he had realised that his feelings for Tyler had grown into something more than friendship, he had spent a lot of time thinking about who he was, about his sexuality. He hadn’t managed to put a label on it, and after a while he had decided that he probably would figure it out eventually. Hearing Tyler call himself bisexual made him start thinking about it again. Somehow being bisexual didn’t seem quite right either. But he knew he was really into Tyler, he liked him so much. Shit, he might even be in love with him, although he felt it was too soon to say it yet. At the same time it felt important to him to try to explain it to Tyler, even though Tyler insisted that it wasn’t important and that he should take his time. But after his thoughts had been going back and forth for a while, he broke the silence.

“I know I don’t have all the answers yet, even though I wish I had, and I get that it’s not important to you, but I think I’ll just settle for being Tyler-sexual for now.” He looked over at Tyler, a small unsure smile on his face. Tyler really was _the_ person he cared about right now, the only one he wanted to spend time with, the only one he had cared so deeply about. He looked at Tyler and could see his own feelings reflecting in Tyler’s eyes. It made his heart beat hard in his chest and he had to turn back to watch the road, not just because he needed to pay attention to driving, but alto because it got a little too much to watch Tyler’s face and his eyes in that moment. He wasn’t sure he could handle all the emotions that were swelling inside of him.

As he kept looking straight ahead he felt Tyler’s hand in his lap, and when he looked down at it, he saw that Tyler’s palm was facing up, asking him silently to hold his hand. He didn’t hesitate when he intertwined their fingers and they held hands like that the rest of the drive to James’s parent’s house.

When they got there, James parked in the drive way, grabbed their bags and they went inside. He threw their bags down in the hallway, grabbed Tyler’s hand and pulled him with him towards the kitchen, where they found his mother and sister. His mom was cooking and his sister was sitting at the kitchen island in the middle of the kitchen, doing something on her lap top. His mother greeted him fondly, and hugged him. He didn’t let go of Tyler’s hand though, and he saw that his mother noticed. She just turned to Tyler to hug him too. Tyler had met his parents on several occations, so he didn’t need to introduce them.

His mother stepped back at looked at them, a small smile on her face. “You guys look good together” she said.

James let out a breath of relief, and he could feel Tyler do the same. “Thanks, mom.”

He noticed his sister looking at them, a smile on her face and a one eyebrow raised. “I have to compete with you over the boys now too!?” she said, smiling even wider. Before he could reply, Tyler spoke up. “Na, not much competion left, he already got me.” She just laughed at that and went over to them and gave them both a hug. As she leaned into James, she whispered into his ear. “Congrats, brother. That’s a hot looking boyfriend you’ve got there.” James felt himself blush at her words, and when he looked over at Tyler, he noticed that he was looking at him with a curious expression. He just shrugged and laughed.

“Dinner will be ready in half an hour, guys. You might want to get cleaned up after your drive? I’m presuming that Tyler will be staying in your room, James? I had the sheets changed and there are fresh towels in your bath room for the both of you”, his mom said into the pot she was stirring around in.

“What!? Mom!? How..?” James stuttered

“Even if you think you have grown up, I’m still your mother, you know”, his mom replied, not even looking up from the stove. “I’m not oblivious”, she stated further.

“What!?” James repeated. Tyler just laughed and pulled at him.

They went back to the hallway to get their bags and headed to James’s bedroom. Once they were inside, Tyler turned towards him and smiled. “I think that went well, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Fuck I’m so happy right now”, James exclaimed. “Come here”, he continued, grabbing Tyler’s waist to pull him in and kiss him. He didn’t kiss him once, but two, three, four times. Tyler just laughed at him.

“What?” James said. “You said in the car that I could kiss you all I wanted once we got here.” He leaned in to kiss Tyler some more.

Tyler kept laughing, which totally ruined their kiss. James faked a pout only to get Tyler to laugh even more. Tyler then pulled back a bit. “What did your sister tell you down in the kitchen?” he asked.

James smiled. “She said that my boyfriend is hot.”

“Boyfriend!? You should have told me that you’ve got a boyfriend, James. I wouldn’t have come with you if I had known.”

“Stop joking around.” James laughed while he tried to pull Tyler back in for yet another kiss, but Tyler kept squirming in his arms, trying to avoid James’s lips.

“I’m not joking. I wasn’t aware you had a boyfriend”, Tyler kept teasing.

“You do know” James said, suddenly all serious. “And now I want to kiss him. Please, come here.”

Tyler stopped kidding around when he saw the sincere expression on James’s face. He put his hands in James’s hair as he tilted his head up to let James kiss him. The kiss was firm and filled with want, making both guys breathless. James still hadn’t gotten used to kissing Tyler. It affected him so much every time.

Tyler eventually pulled away. “We have to get ready for dinner”, he said. James just groaned unhappy that they had to stop what they were doing. He wanted more.

“I promise we’ll continue this later, ok?” Tyler said, smiling at him.

“We better”, James said, leaving one last kiss on Tyler’s lips, before heading to the bathroom. “I’m just going to take a quick shower, ok? You can come with if you want?” He smiled as he watched Tyler follow him into the bath room. After spending the week together, they had already gotten used to being in the bathroom together.

Dinner was nice. Before they sat down, they met James’s dad, who apparently had been filled in on the latest development by his mom. He just hugged them both and welcomed Tyler to the family. After dinner, they all watched a movie together. The guys snuggled up against each other in the corner of the couch, Tyler with his head against James’s shoulder and his arm around James’s waist. James was resting his hand on Tyler’s forearm, making small strokes with his fingers. Occasionally he would place small kisses on Tyler’s head.

After the movie was finished they said good night and retreated to James’s bedroom. It wasn’t that late, and none of them felt like going to bed just yet. So, James put on some music while Tyler was using the bathroom, before settling on the bed, sitting up against the headboard. He pulled out his phone and started scrolling through his Instagram. Whether he nor Tyler had posted anything the last week. He considered posting the picture Tyler had taken of them in the car, but ruled against it, unsure of what Tyler would think of it. He pressed like on a couple of pictures before closing the app.

At the same time, Tyler came back from the bathroom, and he made a gesture with his hand to make him come and join him on the bed. He watched a small smile on Tyler’s face as he crawled onto the bed. He lied down on his side, facing James, but James wanted him closer, and reached out to pull at his shirt. Tyler obliged and moved closer, his stomach pressing against James’s side. James put his hand on the back of Tyler’s neck, making Tyler almost lie on top of him while pulling him in for a kiss. They made out lazily like that for a while. Tyler kept making these small humming noises in his throat, and he felt Tyler’s hand go up to his hair to card through it with his fingers. It was all James could focus on, Tyler’s lips against his own, his hand in his hair and the sound of the small noises Tyler kept making. Nothing else existed in that moment. He couldn’t feel the bed against his body or hear the music playing from the speakers. All he could pay attention to was Tyler.

After a while Tyler moved his leg and put it over James’s thighs. Their bodies shifted against each other, making the kiss deeper and their bodies were pressed further against each other. James felt himself starting to get hard. They had gotten each other off several times during the last week. Spending time with each other in Tyler’s apartment had made it inevitable for them to explore each other’s bodies. But they hadn’t done much more than to use their hands on each other. Both had been too excited, too horny for them to make it any further than that. It had been good though, every time. Each time he had learned a little bit more about Tyler, what he liked, how he reacted to certain touches.

He knew now that Tyler didn’t like the grip around his dick to be too tight and that he would lose all control when James used his hand to make swirling movements to smear precome all over the head of his dick. And he knew that Tyler was really responsive in bed and that James didn’t have to ask twice before Tyler had gotten the message that he enjoyed long strokes, from the base of his dick to the tip, while he was being jerked off. James felt himself getting even harder as he thought about it, the things they had been doing with each other the last couple of days, how they had gotten to know each other bodies better. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped him, which made Tyler pull back to look at him. James figured he should take advantage of it and used the small break to flip them over, settling between Tyler’s thighs. He felt Tyler spread his legs to give him enough space and took it as a sign that Tyler didn’t mind that he had made them change positions. With his hands next to Tyler’s body, he leaned down to kiss his boyfriend, intensifying the kiss compared to the lazy kissed they had shared up until now. He felt Tyler open his mouth to let him in and he couldn’t help himself when he licked shamelessly into his mouth. This was growing really sexual really fast. He felt Tyler’s hand move up to his neck and the hair on the back of his head, and he felt goose bumps all over his body at the touch. He was unaware of it as he made his hips roll against Tyler’s groin, causing Tyler to moan into his mouth. Both the sound Tyler made and the feeling of his dick against Tyler turned him on even further, and his jeans were getting uncomfortably tight now. The fact that he was wearing slim fit jeans didn’t exactly help either.

He felt Tyler’s hands sneak up under his shirt, caressing his lower back. He wanted to feel Tyler’s hand all over his body. “Take if off”, he breathed into Tyler’s mouth. “My shirt, take it off”, he clarified as he noticed the questioning expression on Tyler’s face. He felt Tyler push the shirt up under his armpits before he pushed himself up from Tyler’s body to help him get the shirt further up and over his head. He then tugged at Tyler’s shirt to signal that he wanted that shirt gone to. He wanted to feel Tyler’s skin against his own. Tyler didn’t need to be asked twice and took off his shirt in one swift motion before pulling James back down. Their chests and stomachs were pressed against each other now, and James’s revelled in the feeling of skin against skin. Tyler’s skin was so soft and smooth and hot. He felt himself get lost in the sensation of their bodies pressed together. He lost it some more when he felt Tyler’s hands all over his upper body, never staying still, but touching and stroking him everywhere.

He had to break their kiss and press his face against Tyler’s neck. The enjoyment of Tyler’s hand on his body and Tyler’s lips on his own was almost too much. He felt a bit embarrassed about his reaction and felt like he needed to gather himself a bit before he could continue.

“Are you alright?” he heard Tyler ask, like he knew that something was going on with him.

“Yeah, just give me a sec”, he breathed against Tyler’s neck.

“Do you need to stop?”

“Oh, god no. I don’t want to stop. Just give me a sec”, he repeated.

He felt Tyler remove his hands from his body, which made him let out at small groan in disapproval. Tyler seemed to get it and put his hands back on his back, but not without letting out a small giggle. James felt his cheeks flush. God, how effected he was by Tyler. He had never experienced anything like it. Even though he felt slightly embarrassed, he lifted his head to look at Tyler. He was surprised to find him looking just as flushed at James, eyes wide and dark. Tyler too seemed to be so affected by what they were doing. It made him calm down a little. They looked at each other, before James leaned back down to give his boyfriend a chaste kiss. “You just turn me on so much, that’s all”, he explained. “It just got a bit too much. But I’m fine now”, he smiled a little.

Tyler smiled back and kissed him. “We can stop if you want to.”

“No, I don’t need to. Actually, I want to take this further. I want to – I want to blow you.” He wasn’t quite sure how he had found the courage to ask for that, considering he had been a total mess against Tyler’s neck just minutes ago, but he really wanted to know what it felt like to have Tyler’s dick in his mouth. He also wanted to focus on Tyler and make him feel good. And he wanted their sex life to take the next step. He was so emotionally invested in Tyler and he wanted their physical acts to reflect that.

“Are you sure?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah. Do you want me to?” James felt uncertainty start to crawl through his body, but it vanished immediately when he looked at Tyler’s expression. He looked just as turned on as he felt, and when Tyler smiled and started to nod eagerly, James began to make his way down Tyler’s body. He started by kissing his neck, just below Tyler’s ear, and licked his way down to his collarbone, where he spent some time nibbling at it. He licked into the dip just below Tyler’s Adam’s apple, before he made his way down Tyler’s chest, just stopping shortly to lick at his nipples. He could hear Tyler’s panting increasing above him as he continued his way down. He drew a circle with his tongue around Tyler’s belly button.

When he reached the waistband of Tyler’s jeans, he didn’t hesitate, but started to work at the button and zipper. He didn’t want to drag this out any longer. He looked up at Tyler, his hands resting on Tyler’s hips, his fingers curled underneath the waistband of the jeans, ready to pull them down, one last silent plea for confirmation. Tyler just raised his hips and James started to pull. He considered for a second not to bring Tyler’s boxers down with the jeans, but decided against it. They had done this part so many times by now, he figured this wasn’t the part to be shy about.

Once the clothes were tossed aside on the floor, and Tyler’s dick was resting hard and long against his stomach, he placed each of his hands on each of Tyler’s knees and started to stroke upwards. As he reached Tyler’s groin, he let his big hands rest on the upper thighs and let his thumbs rub from the groin and up along the V-shape of the lower part of Tyler’s belly, avoiding to touch Tyler’s dick or the balls hanging underneath. The skin was so soft and hot underneath his fingertips and he noticed how Tyler couldn’t lie still under the touch. He cast a glance up at Tyler’s face, just to find him lying with his eyes closed and lips slightly parted. He was beautiful.

He moved his right hand to gently stroke his fingers against the underside of Tyler’s dick. He had to hold back not to wrap his long fingers around his boyfriend’s length and start stroking him. That was not the plan. He let go of Tyler’s dick and bent down to place a soft kiss at the tip. He felt Tyler’s hips buck a little at the touch and thought that he might have been caught by surprise by the touch.

He placed his hands on Tyler’s hips to keep him still and licked tentatively at the underside of Tyler’s dick. It tasted like – well, dick and Tyler. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He knew it wouldn’t taste like rose pedals or anything, but the taste and smell was still new and unfamiliar. But he wasn’t put off by it, and still curious he kept licking. Remembering how Tyler had responded the times he had used his fingers to smear precome around and over the head, he let his tongue swirl around the head of Tyler’s dick and pushed his tongue gently into the slit. It made Tyler let out an especially loud moan, and James had to strain himself to keep Tyler’s hips still.

Encouraged by Tyler’s response, he kept going, licking up and down Tyler’s length, occasionally using his tongue on the head. He could feel the salty taste of precome against his own tongue and the thought of Tyler enjoying what he was doing to him encouraged him even further. He wrapped his mouth around Tyler’s dick and bobbed his head slowly a couple of times, lost in the sensation of how it felt to have Tyler’s dick inside his mouth. He had been afraid that he might feel it was strange or foreign to him, but he found himself enjoying it, and the sounds Tyler was making and the movements his body was making underneath him spurred him on even further.

He looked up only to meet Tyler’s eyes with his own and was amazed by how Tyler looked, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes big and dark and cheeks dark pink. But what really caught his attention, was Tyler’s mouth. His lips were parted, and when he wasn’t biting down on his lower lip, it was trembling intensely. He kept looking at Tyler’s face as he kept bobbing his head, and when Tyler’s gaze finally met his, he couldn’t help it. He let go of Tyler’s dick and swiftly moved up to kiss his boyfriend’s trembling lips, staring into his eyes. He felt the connection between them so strongly, he had trouble understanding it. It felt all-consuming. He felt it into his core. He felt it inside and outside. He lost his ability to move. He could only keep still, looking into Tyler’s eyes and panting into his mouth.

He didn’t know how long they had been staying like that, but he became conscious again as Tyler’s hands started to claw against his back.

“James, James.. .Keep going please. I want, I need…”

James knew what Tyler was asking and placed a lingering kiss against Tyler’s lips, before he moved back down and took Tyler’s dick back in his mouth. He didn’t have to work long before he felt Tyler tug at his hair. He didn’t have to think about it though. He just reached up, grabbed Tyler’s hand and guided it down to Tyler’s chest, before intertwining their fingers. He was all in.

It only took a couple of more times of him bobbing his head and swirling his tongue around the head of Tyler’s dick, before he felt his boyfriend’s thighs still before he came hard. As he felt the first streak of come against his lips, he engulfed Tyler’s dick one last time to swallow down the rest of the sperm that shot from Tyler’s dick. He managed to swallow most of it, only a couple of drops escaped from the side of his mouth. He licked them up, before he went back in to clean up Tyler thoroughly with his tongue.

Satisfied with his efforts, he crawled back up to Tyler, who had his head buried deep into the pillow underneath him. He was still breathing hard, with his eyes closed. He opened them though, as James came closer. James nudged against Tyler’s nose, a bit unsure if he was allowed to kiss Tyler, considering his mouth would probably taste of come. But Tyler only grabbed at the back of his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. They stayed like that for a while, making out, him still on top of Tyler.

It wasn’t until he felt Tyler shift underneath him to make space between them so that he could reach the button of James’s jeans, that he realised that not only was he still wearing clothes, he was also rock hard. He had been so focused on what he was doing, on Tyler’s pleasure, on the fact that he had been sucking dick for the first time, that he had forgotten about his own needs. As the button and zipper were undone, he felt Tyler’s hand sneak in between his jeans and boxers to palm his dick. It relieved some of the pressure, but it was also aggravating. He wanted more. He wanted to feel Tyler’s touch without the barrier between them. Frustrated, he moved against Tyler, but couldn’t decide between thrusting downward or wriggle his hips against Tyler’s pelvis, causing him to move indecisively against his boyfriends body. He let out a frustrated groan.

Tyler still seemed to get the message though and pushed at James so that he was lying on his back. He helped Tyler to get his jeans and underwear of. He had barely heard the thud of his clothes hitting the floor before he could feel the warmth of Tyler’s mouth around his dick. He let out a surprised moan at the sensation. He had hoped that Tyler would return the favour, but he wasn’t expecting Tyler to go at it so quickly. Still, it was exactly what he needed.

Although Tyler had been quick to get his mouth on James’s dick, he didn’t rush it when it came to the act of giving head. At least not in the beginning. He slowly went down and took as much as he could of James’s dick in his mouth. On his way up he used his tongue to lick at the underside of James’s dick, paying attention especially to the area underneath the head. Tyler repeated the movements a couple of times.

Being neglected during his own efforts to take care of Tyler, James’s dick craved the attention, and it was embarrassing how fast he felt the familiar tingling sensation in his lower abdomen. And when Tyler started to go faster, he didn’t stand a chance. He put both his hands in Tyler’s hair.

“Tyler, stop. I’m going to come…”

But Tyler didn’t stop. He just stroked his hand up and down James’s thigh and used his mouth faster on his dick. When Tyler in addition hummed around his dick, it was all he needed to tip over the edge, spilling his cum into Tyler’s mouth. He watched Tyler swallow around him. As the intensity of his orgasm slowly started to fade, he pulled at Tyler’s hair to get him to come up for a kiss. As their mouths crashed together and he licked into Tyler’s mouth, all he could think about was how the taste of his and Tyler’s come blended together in his mouth.

After a while, Tyler broke the kiss and looked at him while stroking his fingers through James’s hair. He watched Tyler’s eyes roam his face, as if he was trying to figure out what James was thinking. James smiled up at his boyfriend, before leaning up for another kiss. He felt Tyler’s lips smile against his own.


	9. Saturday January 14th 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos! I appreciate it so much!
> 
> Be warned. This is smut, smut, smut. I'm sorry.
> 
> The guys lose their virginity in this chapter. The reason it took me so long to update (sorry about that btw), aside from the fact that I'm on vacation and had to sneak away from my inlaws to write freaking smut (!) (*hides my face-emoji*), is that I couldn't decide between Tyler or James bottoming. I have litterally spent days wondering about this. Maybe it seems obvious to some of you, but for me it doesn't. Soooo, I have concluded that they are versatile. Which means you get both guys bottoming. in this chapter. Like I said: smut, smut, smut. I'm sorry.
> 
> And in case you are wondering/need to know: James is the first to bottom.
> 
> At one point this chapter gets really cheesy/sappy. I'm sorry about that too. The boys are in love ❤️
> 
> Oh, did I mention there is a lot of smut in this? I'm sorry.
> 
> Now, let's get into the action!

Tyler's POV 

He woke up feeling warm and cozy. James's chest was pressed against his back and his right arm was curled around his waist. They were both naked, since they hadn't bothered to put any clothes back on the night before. He felt small puffs of hot air against his neck and could hear the steady sound of James's breathing. It felt overwhelmingly nice, and he stayed still, wanting to stay like this forever, tucked in James's embrace. 

His mind started to wander. He thought about the last week, how they had stayed in to spend time together, to adjust to being close together, not only as friends, but as a couple. Even though they knew they wanted to be together, it was still fresh, and they needed some time to adjust. And doing that inside the safe space of Tyler's apartment had been not only nice, but comforting and necessary for their new relationship to slowly start building. And it had felt so relieving to be doing it without feeling any quilt or nervousness. To be able to look at each other and smile at each other and touch each other and kiss each other. 

And they had kissed _a lot_. He smiled at the thought of it. One night they had spent hours just lying on the couch making out, like teenagers. James was a good kisser. He knew when to be soft and when to be firm. He could sometimes be demanding and passionate, and Tyler had more than once felt himself drown in the sensation of being kissed by James. It could be all-consuming. 

The physical part of their relationship was new. Before, it hadn't gone any further than hugging and the occasional brushing of fingers against a hand or arm, and that one time holding hands while watching an episode of Eyewitness. In the last week, they had been able to _explore_ , to be allowed to touch, to get to know each other bodies. His dick started to twitch at the thought of it. He closed his eyes and pictured James's body, skinny and long limbs, pale skin. He thought about his face, his cheekbones, his jawline, his blue, blue eyes. He thought about his hair, that had gotten longer and felt so nice between his fingers when he was running his hand through it during their make out sessions. 

He felt the need to touch James creep up on him, and he wanted to turn around to face his boyfriend so badly. Instead he carefully pressed his back into James's body and felt James's arm tighten its grip around his waist. He heard a small hum leave James's throat, but he couldn't tell for sure if he was waking up. He tentatively pushed his ass against James's groin, making small movements back and forth. He didn't have to it do for long until he felt the unmistakeable sensation of James's dick hardening against his own ass. Encouraged, he kept rubbing his ass against James's dick, eliciting even more sounds from James's throat. He thought that maybe James was still asleep, but then he felt a hand grace one of his nipples and a kiss behind his ear. He heard James a small groan in his ear as he reached behind him to grab James's ass and push their bodies even closer. He felt his own dick thickening and slowly rising against his stomach. He fought back the desire to touch himself and squeezed James's ass harder.

He felt James's hand move down his chest and stomach, stroking firmly against his abs. His hand didn’t stop, but it didnæt go where Tyler wanted it to either. He moved his hand in between Tyler's thighs and nudged the leg that was resting on top of the other, signalling that he wanted Tyler to move it. Tyler lifted his leg and James manoeuvred it so that his footpad was flat against the mattress, behind the other leg's knee, causing the leg to peek the duvet.

His breath hitched as he felt James's hand shift position to reach down from behind to caress his inner thighs. It felt more intimate than anything they had done before, accessing from behind, rather from the front. He could feel the underside of James’s forearm rest against his ass cheek. James's hand ghosted over his balls as he shifted from caressing his one inner thigh to the other, going back and forth a couple of times. James then cupped his balls and squeezed them softly, causing him to moan a little. James still hadn't touched his dick, which was getting so hard by now, and he ached to be touched there. But James seemed to have other plans, as he moved his hand away from his balls to tentatively stroke one finger against his perineum. He stopped breathing while he felt James caress and explore. 

He could hear James's breath in his ear and felt several kisses against his neck, and he strained himself to turn his head enough so that he could kiss James on the mouth. The angle was weird, but they managed to share a somewhat sloppy kiss, and Tyler moaned into James's mouth to spur him on. He was so turned on by James touches, and he didn't want him to stop. James seemed to get the message, because he kept touching him. His hand travelled further behind and his fingers where now exploring the area between his ass cheeks. No one but himself had ever touched him there before, and he felt hot and dizzy from sensing James's fingers on him. He couldn't wait any longer and moved his own hand to touch himself, but as soon as James noticed, he swatted Tyler's hand away and wrapped his own long fingers around his dick. Tyler let out a small sob at the feeling of finally getting his dick touched, and he started to buck his hips, eager to get off.

At the same time, he noticed that James had moved down the mattress a bit and that his dick was pushing against the crack of Tyler's ass cheeks. It turned him on even further, both the feeling of James’s dick between his ass cheeks and the thought of wanting James to push his dick forward, inside of him. He heard James moan softly in his ear. The angle wasn't ideal to give James much friction though. 

"Have you got any lube?" Tyler managed to ask in between moans.

"What?" James almost stopped stroking his Dick.

"Have you got any lube? I want you to fuck my thighs like this, while jerking me off."

"Fuck, Tyler. Yeah. Top bedside drawer."

Tyler reached out and rummaged through the drawer until his fingers graced a small bottle. He pulled it out and made a pleased sound when James confirmed that it was the right bottle. He poured some of it into his hand and reached down to slick James up. James started breathing heavy at Tyler's touches, and Tyler couldn't help but spend some extra time to coat James's dick with the sticky substance, wanting to hear the moans that soon enough left James's mouth. The sound was fucking _arousing_.

He then placed James's dick between his upper thighs, making sure there was enough room for James to move, but squeezing his thighs enough to cause the necessary friction. James's immediately started to thrust against him, making his dick slide back and forth between his thighs, while moaning loudly. Tyler used his hand to touch James's hand, which was still wrapped around his dick, to get him to start jerking him off again.

James quickly found a rhythm, where his thrust between Tyler's thighs matched the strokes on Tyler's dick. Unable to do anything else, since James was in charge now, Tyler grabbed on to the sheets. The feeling of James's breath against his neck, his movements against his back and between his thighs and the quickening strokes on his shaft soon had him approaching his release. Desperately he started bucking his hips, eager to get off. He heard James whisper in his ear, spurring him on, begging him to come.

James was stroking him faster now, and when he twisted his fingers around the head of his dick on an upstroke, Tyler couldn't hold back. His entire body was trembling when he spilled his white fluids on the sheets below. James kept jerking him off until he finished orgasming. James had continued to thrust between his thigs the entire time, and Tyler could sense that he was getting close. But instead of finishing off between his thighs, James reached down and grabbed Tyler's knee and lifted his leg up and placed his foot against the mattress again, before he started to jerk himself off. Tyler could feel the rapid movements of James's hand against his ass. He managed to turn around slightly and watched James's face, filled with pleasure, his eyes closed and lips parted, while panting hard. He loved watching James's face when he came.

His heart made a jump when James opened his eyes and stared into Tyler's with a slightly playful ( _wait, what?_ ) expression just as he reached his climax. He was hit with another surprise when he realised that James was squirting his come all over his dick and balls, and he realised that was the reason James didn't want to come between his thighs. It felt hot and filthy, and he loved it. 

When it was over, James leaned over and kissed Tyler quickly, before he moved down in between Tyler's legs. 

"What are you doing?" he asked, raising his head, curious of what his boyfriend was up to.

"I want to see", James responded as he ducked down to view the mess he had made between Tyler's legs.

"Fuck, is it weird that I think you look fucking hot like this?" James asked as he used one of his thumbs to smear some of the come over Tyler's spent and sensitive dick. Tyler hissed at the sensation.

"No", he replied. "Having your come all over me is fucking hot."

"Yeah?"

Before he could respond, James moved up in one swift motion to press an open-mouthed kiss against his lips. Tyler wrapped his arms around James's neck to pull him in closer. After sharing a few lingering kisses James pulled back. "Let's get a shower to clean up and then get some breakfast. I want to take you biking today." Tyler pulled him back in to kiss him one last time, before he got up and headed for the bathroom.

\--

They spent the next few hours biking along the Ojai - Ventura bike path. James brought a back pack and surprised Tyler with lunch on a bench overlooking the Ventura river. He admitted that he had gotten his mother to make it, but Tyler was still impressed that he had thought about it at all. It was a sunny day, but a bit chilly, and Tyler felt his heart clench when James pulled out a warmer jacket for Tyler to wear. James could be such a sweetheart, and Tyler felt so lucky to be with him.

They took a couple of pictures by the river, even a selfie of James kissing Tyler's cheek, before they returned to Ojai .

Once they got back, James insisted they go swimming in the Paxton indoor swimming pool. The bike path back to Ojai was easy uphill and both of them had broken into a sweat on the way back, so they showered quickly before they went in the water. They didn't do much swimming though. They mostly played around, and James kept trying to pull off various jumps from the edge of the pool. Tyler watched while he jokingly rolled his eyes and snorted at his boyfriend for showing off 

After one of his jumps, James swam up to Tyler, who was standing close to the edge of the pool, pushed him backwards and used his body to pin him against the tiles on the side of the pool. With a huge grin on his face he started to kiss Tyler's neck and jaw, before he moved up to kiss his mouth hungrily. Tyler was unable to move and could only sigh into the kiss. Not that he wanted to do anything other than kiss James. During the last week, he had found himself always wanting to kiss James. Up until now he hadn't known that kissing could feel so nice, so all-consuming.

After a couple of minutes, James pulled away, leaving Tyler breathless and flushed. James was smirking at him, but he didn't look any better. That was to say he looked absolutely stunning, eyes wide and face flushed. Tyler felt pleased that his boyfriend was so affected by kissing him. He wanted to reach out and pull him in to continue what James had started, but decided against it. Getting freaky in the Paxton-family's pool probably wasn't a good idea. After swimming around a bit more, they decided to get up and dry off. On their way upstairs, they ran into James's mother, who informed them that they would be having the house to themselves that night, as she and James's father were going out to dinner with some friends and his sister was going to a party and then spend the night at a friend's Place.

\---

As he entered James's bedroom after his shower, he felt tired and was looking forward to rest on James's bed. James was already lying on the bed, wearing grey sweatpants and a white long sleeved shirt, while scrolling on his phone. Tyler chuckled, considering he was wearing the same outfit. _Since when did they wear matching clothes?_

"Man, I'm not showering for the entire next week. Three showers in one day? I've never been cleaner!"

James laughed at him. "We had to shower before we got into the pool, babe. We were sweaty. And one must shower afterwards, to get the chlorine out!"

"Yeah, I know. And I _had_ to shower this morning, because of the mess you made", Tyler laughed as he climbed onto the bed, pecked James on the cheek, who was grinning back at him like a mad man, and settled next to him. He watched as James exited Instagram and noticed that he had made the selfie they had taken by the Ventura river the wallpaper on his phone. He felt a warmth spread across his chest. He snatched James's phone and put it on the bedside table, before moving to straddle his boyfriend. Once settled, he leaned down to place a firm kiss on James's mouth, before he pulled back and watched James chase him for another kiss, which he dodged, leaving James pouting on the mattress. He looked somewhat ridiculous, and Tyler couldn’t help but smile. He wouldn't normally refuse James a kiss, but he wanted to say something before they got too caught up with kissing each other.

"Thank you", he said.

"For what?" James looked up at him, smiling, with a curious expression on his face.

"For everything. For this entire week. For making me breakfast every morning. For taking me with you to visit your family. For last night _and_ this morning." The last part he said with a wink, his voice coated with innuendo. James smiled fondly at him.

"For taking me biking today and bringing lunch. For giving me your jacket so that I wouldn't get cold. For making that picture the wallpaper on your phone. For taking care of me. For being my boyfriend. You make me want to be a good boyfriend to you. I love you."

He knew they had only been together less than a week, but it wasn't like they had just gotten to know each other. This thing between them had been going on for a long time, and they had both left their respective girlfriends to be with each other for god’s sake. He fell in love with James a long time ago and he didn't want to wait any longer to say it. He still felt a bit nervous about how James would react though, and he took a breath to tell him that he shouldn't feel obligated to say it back, but James started talking before he could.

"Of course I did all that for you, Tyler. You don't have to thank me. I love you too." He used both his hands to cup Tyler's face. "And you _are_ a good boyfriend. You opened up your apartment to me and made me dinner every night. You cuddle me all the time, without me having to ask you to, fulfilling a need I didn't know existed until I became yours. You have never pushed me about my sexuality, only given me the time and space to figure it out. And yet you didn't hesitate neither to call your parents to tell them about us, nor come with me to stay at my parents, even though both meant that you had to out yourself. And now you just made me that amazing speech, which made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I love you _so_ much."

Tyler was in lack of words. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing regularly, to try to calm down his heart, which was beating hard and fast in his chest. He was in love, and James loved him back. He was having trouble understanding that it was real, that he had this now. He had never had such intense feelings for another being before, and he needed a moment to comprehend.

He felt James's fingers caressing his face softly. First his cheeks, his chin, nose and then his forehead, before James's hand carefully pulled at the back of his neck to bring him down. He expected a kiss, but James only pulled so that their foreheads and noses were pressing against each other. They stayed like that for some time, until Tyler felt collected enough to open his eyes, and when he did, he looked straight into James's blue eyes, which had the softest and most loving gaze he had ever seen. He felt his heartbeat quicken again, but managed to stay calmer this time.

"Are you alright?" he heard James whisper. He hesitated, but managed to nod, unable to form words. He felt James’s fingers card through his hair.

"Can I kiss you?"

He nodded again, and closed his eyes before he could even feel James's lips against his own. The kiss was chaste, and Tyler was thankful, because he wasn't sure if he could handle anything more right now. He felt James pull at his back until he found himself lying with his upper body on top of James's chest, his head against James's shoulder, nose pressed against James's neck. James kept stroking up and down his spine, and after a while Tyler felt calmer and couldn’t help but melt into James’s body. He felt safe and loved. All their activities earlier that day had taken their toll on him, and he slowly drifted off into a well-deserved nap.

He woke up about an hour later, his head still against James’s shoulder. He felt warm and fuzzy. Apparently, James had dozed off to, and he was still sleeping. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to check the time. 5:47 p.m. He ignored his Twitter and Instagram notifications and pocketed his phone, before he raised his head to look at his boyfriend. James sometimes had the softest face, with almost feminine features, and other times, he looked so masculine, with his strong jaw, particularly when he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days. Tyler loved both looks on him. Right now, when he was sleeping, he looked so soft, with strands of hair falling over his forehead. His lips were just slightly parted, and Tyler couldn’t resist kissing them delicately. He pushed the hair away from James’s forehead and heard him hum in response. He smiled and placed another kiss to James’s lips. 

“Hmmm. You’re smiling.”

“Yes. Am I not allowed to?” Tyler responded, still smiling, before he kissed him again.

“You can smile all you want, baby. I love your smile.” James was smiling now too, but his eyes were still closed.

Tyler kept kissing him, loving the sensations of their lips pressed against each other. The kisses slowly evolved from soft, almost chaste kisses to wet open-mouthed ones. He pushed his body closer to James to gain better access and noticed that James was tilting his head to the side go get a better angle, which allowed him to deepen the kiss.

He reached his hand underneath the hem of James’s shirt, unable to resist the need to touch his skin. He let his fingers travel gently up and down James’s ribcage, humming back his response to the soft sigh that escaped James’s lips in between kisses. He felt James’s hand on his back and in his hair, and he knew where this was going. This wasn’t just a “we woke up from our nap and I want to say hello to you”-kiss. This was them wanting and needing each other, and he felt so incredibly turned on by the thought of it, by the thought that James wanted him in the same way he wanted James. He presses his upper body even closer to James and moved his hand up to scratch his nails over one of James’s nipples, which elicited a small moan from James. God, James was so responsive and vocal, it almost killed him that he could get these reactions out of him just by kissing him and touching him like this. They hadn’t even really done anything yet.

James reactions spurred him on and he lowered his hand and pushed it underneath the waistband of James’s sweatpants, expecting to find a pair of boxers between his hand and James’s noble parts. But his fingers immediately dipped into the softness that was James’s pubic hairs and he could only groan at the touch of it. He folded his hand around James’s dick while groaning a “fuck” against James’s lips. He more felt than saw James’s grin against his lips 

“Stop grinning. I can’t believe you went commando, and I can’t believe how much that turns me on.”

He pushed his pelvis forward to rub his increasingly hardening dick against James’s hip. When he heard James giggle softly, he tugged at his dick a couple of times and licked James’s neck from his collarbone and up to the back of his ear, effectively wiping the grin off of James’s face. The giggling was replaced with heavy breathing, and Tyler was pleased with himself. Tyler wasn’t the only one to be effected by what they were doing.

He continued to stroke James’s dick slowly, while nibbling his earlobe and neck. He didn’t want them to just jerk each other off and then be done with it, even though he was so turned on and hard in his pants that his body was screaming for a release. Thank god he was wearing sweatpants. Jeans would have been way too uncomfortable. He wanted what they were doing to last. He wanted to watch James slowly fall apart beneath him. He wanted to take care of him.

His confusion was immediate when James grabbed his lower arm and asked him to stop with a whisper in his ear. He pulled back to look at his face, only to find his boyfriend with his head shoved back into the pillow, eyes half closed and breathing heavily. 

“What, baby?” Tyler asked, a little concerned. “Is something wrong?” He tried to pull his arm out of James’s pants, but James held onto his lower arm and wouldn’t let him.

“No, nothing is wrong”, James said in a low voice, his eyes open now and looking at Tyler. “I want more.”

“Ok. What do you mean?” Tyler emotions shifted from feeling concerned to being a little intrigued. He wanted so much to please his boyfriend.

“I know it might be too soon, but I want us to go all the way”, James said in one long breath.

Tyler felt his own breath hitch in his throat, and he tried again to pull his hand out of James pants, and this time James let him, but not without a concerned expression on his face. Tyler hated that. He didn’t want James to feel that way while they were in bed together. He sat up a little bit and placed his hand on James’s neck in an attempt to soothe him.

“We haven’t really talked about that”, and he was quick to continue talking when he saw disappointment darken James’s eyes. “Not that I don’t want to. I do. God, I do want you, James, badly. But shouldn’t we talk about the, uhm, logistics of it?” God, that sounded so – clinical. He frowned at his own chioce of words. “I mean, I don’t even know if you want to top or bottom”, he said softly as he moved his hand from James’s neck to stroke it through his hair.

“I don’t care how we do it”, James said, with the sincerest look on his face. “All I know is that I want you in any way possible. I want everything with you. I trust you.”

Tyler felt a wave of emotions flood through his body at James’s words, and he leaned down to kiss him desperately, hoping that James understood what his words meant to him. He loved this man so much, and the fact that he opened up to him, trusted him like this, in bed, made his heart clench in his chest. He would be happy to give James anything he wanted.

“I don’t care how we do it either. I can go both ways. But let me take care of you for now, okay? I really want to be inside you, to feel you. Will you let me?”

“Yes”, James answered breathlessly.

Tyler leaned down again to kiss James, before asking “Condoms?” 

“Yeah, drawer, with the lube”, James responded.

Tyler quickly retrieved the items form the top bedside drawer, before he returned, settling between James’s legs. He put the condom and lube on the edge of the bed. James was looking up at him expectantly when he put his hands on James’s hips, rubbing the skin there gently. James grabbed his wrists and pulled him up for an open-mouthed kiss, and they stayed like that for a couple of minutes, making out dirtily, panting hard into each other’s mouths, both of them immensely turned on.

Tyler then started to move down James’s body, leaving James with his eyes closed on the pillow. He kissed his way down James’s upper body, and when he reached the waistband of James’s sweatpants, he tugged at it to get James to lift his lower body up so that he could pull them down. James’s dick bounced free and settled against James’s stomach.

Tyler couldn’t resist licking James’s dick from the base and up and around the tip, eliciting a moan from James. He then reached over to grab the lube, flicked it open and poured some over his fingers. “Have you ever..?” he asked. 

“No, never”, James replied. “But, like I said, I trust you.”

“I’ll go slow, okay?” It was the first time Tyler did this to another guy, but he knew that it was crucial that he took his time if he wanted James to enjoy it. He pushed James’s legs further apart, so that he could have better access, before he placed the tip of his index finger against James’s entrance and rubbed at it gently to get James used to the sensation. James made a small sound of pleasure in the back of his throat.

He then placed his other hand on James’s hip to steady himself. He cast a glance up at James, who inhaled and nodded, before he slowly began to push his finger in. He didn’t get far before he realised he needed more leverage, and he replaced his free hand to James’s thigh and pushed it further to the side and a little up, exposing James’s hole fully. He watched in awe as his index finger pushed further inside his boyfriend, all the way down to the knuckle. He was overwhelmed by the hotness and the slickness that was James.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, looking up at James.

“Yeah. You don’t have to stop.”

Tyler nodded in response and slowly pulled his finger back out, causing James to draw breath between his teeth, but if his facial expression was anything to go by, he wasn’t experiencing any discomfort. On the next inward push, he pushed his finger all the way inside. He then continued moving his finger in and out, and after a while occasionally twisting it as he pushed inside. James kept making these small sounds of pleasure and his breath was getting heavier. It was so arousing, Tyler had trouble keeping it together.

When he felt that James was relaxed and loose enough, he added another finger. He felt James tense up a bit at the intrusion, and paused his movements and rubbed at his thigh soothingly until he felt him relax. He made sure that James gave him the okay before he continued to move his fingers.

It took a while longer before James started making the small sounds in the back of his throat again, and Tyler felt a sense of accomplishment when the sound finally reached his ears. He moved his hand to wrap his fingers around the base of James’s dick to stroke it a couple of times. James was letting out small moans now and his face was starting to get flushed. Encouraged, Tyler started to twist and scissor his fingers to create enough room for a third finger. Simultaneously he tried searching for that sweet spot inside of James as he pushed is fingers deeper and deeper inside. He adjusted the angle now and then attempting to find it, and he was eventually rewarded by James cursing and his back arching off the bed. 

“Shit, Tyler. Do it again, do it again”, James groaned into his arm, which he had thrown over his face, clearly affected by what Tyler was doing to him .

And Tyler searched for it again and only used a couple of attempts before his fingers were rubbing against James’s prostate. James’s moans increased, and Tyler started to wonder if he could get him off just by using his fingers, and as tempting as trying that seemed, he decided to go easy on James’s spot. He wanted to be inside of James in an even more intimate way, even though what they were currently doing felt god dam intimate, so he decided to stay focused on the part of prepping James.

He eventually added a third finger, using his gained experience to stroke James’s dick to get his attention of the potentially straining feeling of another finger widening his hole. James seemed to be in less discomfort now than when he had added the second finger, and Tyler took it as a sign that he was doing something right. He kept working with his fingers, pushing and pulling, all while looking at James’s face to track how he was doing.

James’s body was writhing underneath him now, and a steady string of moans were leaving his lips. His eyes were closed and Tyler watched him push his head against the pillow, leaving his neck exposed. James looked _stunning_.

Tyler couldn’t resist the urge to lunge forward and suck at his neck. James let out a growl at the sensation, and Tyler moved from his neck and up to his mouth and started to lick demandingly into his mouth, all while finger fucking him continuously. Wanting James to feel the best way possible, he aimed for the sweet spot again and watched James’s face in awe as he hit it. He didn’t have word to describe his face, all pleasure filled, flushed and glistening with a layer of sweat. He looked _wrecked_. And Tyler felt wrecked just at the sight of him. 

He kept kissing and licking into James’s mouth while he continued the prep until he was sure that James was ready. He removed his fingers from James’s ass, causing James to let out a small whimper, which he apparently felt embarrassed about if his facial expression was anything to go by. But Tyler only gave him a reassuring glance and kissed him once more, before the sat up and pushed his thumbs on the inside of the waistband of his sweatpants. He still hadn’t removed them, but that hadn’t been a necessity. This was about James’s pleasure.

“You still want this, baby?” he asked to make sure that James was still comfortable with what they were doing.

“Yes. Yes, Tyler. I want to feel you inside me. Please.” James pleaded.

Tyler couldn’t grasp the fact that James was so affected, so wanting, so wrecked. It made his dick twitch violently inside his pants. He quickly removed them and his boxers, exposing his throbbing length. He tugged at it a couple of times, only to find out that he was too affected to do that for any length of time if he wanted to last. He grabbed the condom, tore the foil open and rolled the condom on, before he grabbed the lube to slick himself up. James followed his every movement with his eyes. 

Tyler settled between James’s legs, grabbed the base of his dick, leaned forward and positioned himself against James’s hole. His free hand was placed on the bed next to James’s waist. While looking at James’s face he slowly, slowly pushed his dick forward to breach James’s rim. 

“Just relax”, he let out with a breathy voice when he noticed James closing his eyes, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. He paused his movements, the head of his dick only still pressing against the rim, and tilted his upper body downwards to kiss James softly. “Look at me, baby”, he pleaded and kissed him again. He kept kissing James until he opened his eyes. “Tell me if you want me stop, yeah? There’s no rush, okay?”

James only nodded in response. They stayed like that for a minute, before James spoke. “I- I think you can move again. It’s just that it’s so much _more_ than just your fingers. I want to take it, but I’m not sure I can.” James sounded like he was afraid that Tyler would be disappointed in him, but Tyler wouldn’t have any of that. 

“It’s ok, baby. We can try, and if it doesn’t work out, we’ll stop and try again another time, okay? There’s no pressure here. I love you”, he said emphasizing the last three words. “I don’t want you to be in pain. I only want you to feel good.”

He felt James relax at his words, and after a short amount of time, James gave the go ahead, and Tyler, still hovering over James, their faces close to each other, started to push into his boyfriend again. When the head of his dick had breached James’s rim, James let out a relieved sigh, and Tyler pressed his lips against James’s mouth.

From there on out it got easier. Tyler managed to push all the way inside, his hips flush against James’s ass. He kept still, only kissing and licking at James’s lips, until James asked him to move. He then started to slowly pull out, until his dick was almost outside of James, before he pushed back in. He continued at a slow pace for a while, all the time while looking at James’s face to make sure he was alright.

The feeling of James walls around his dick felt indescribably good and tight. “Oh god, you feel so good, baby. I can’t believe it, I can’t believe _us_.” 

He felt the urge to start thrusting inside James more rapidly, but managed to execute some self-control and take his time. His body was trembling from the strain of it though, and by one point he was more panting against James’s face instead of kissing him. It was so fucking good. He had to brace himself not to come on the spot. 

He couldn’t help but let out a small embarrassed laugh when he felt James carefully push some strands of hair from his sweaty forehead. He pressed his face against James’s neck while he paused his movements to regain control of his body, and he felt James’s hand stroke up and down his back. He couldn’t make out the words that James was whispering in his ear, but he figured they were words of reassurance. He managed to choke out an “I’m the one that’s supposed to take care of _you_ ” against James’s neck. 

“Who says we can’t take care of each other?” James spoke back at him, and Tyler felt a sweet ache in his chest at those words. He lifted his head and stared into James’s eyes. He couldn’t quite comprehend how they could hold so many emotions at the same time. James looked so soft and turned on at the same time. He felt James’s hands cup his face, before his boyfriend’s lips were pressing firmly against his. 

And like that he started to move again at a steady pace, eyes staring into eyes, lips pressing against lips. It was sweet, it was tender, it was loving. 

But _fuck_ it was also pleasure, wetness and heat. He felt James let go. He felt himself let go. And from there on out it was bodies moving against each other and hips thrusting. It was open-mouthed kisses relieved by panting and moaning when the need for air grew bigger and they were no longer able to kiss. 

They went faster. His hips were pushing harder and James’s hips were meeting him halfway. And at one point, he managed to find just the right angle and James was moaning loudly and throwing his head back against the pillow. And Tyler did everything he could to hit the sweet spot inside of James on every thrust thereafter. He watches his boyfriend beginning to come apart underneath him. And the sight pushed him close towards the edge. He felt his groin and lower abdomen starting to tighten, but wanted James to finish first. 

He grabbed James’s dick, only to marvel at the amount of precome that was pooling from the tip. He started to jerk him off in the same pace as he was pushing inside of him, also noticing how his knuckles got wet from brushing into the load of precome that had gathered on James’s stomach. It drove him insane, and he managed to realise that he might have a precome-kink before James’s body went still underneath him and come was shooting from his dick, coating his stomach and chest. The sight of James’s face as he came, made it impossible for Tyler to hold back, and he came hard inside the condom. He kept thrusting until his dick couldn’t take it anymore. He collapsed on top of James, his face against his shoulder as he fought to regain his breath. He heard James panting above him, before he started to chuckle softly. Tyler only managed to groan in response. It took him a while before he managed to move. He lifted his head to take a look at James, who was smiling softly at him. He felt a hand run through his hair and he leaned down to place a lingering kiss at the corner of James’s mouth.

“How are you feeling? Are you alright?” he asked, stroking a finger across James’s cheek.

“Yes, I’m fine. That was so good, Tyler. I mean, you hear about how sex with another guy can be so good, but I never thought it could be like this, at least not the first time. Thank you.” James looked so sincere, Tyler felt his chest tighten. 

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m glad you enjoyed it. You felt so good, baby.” 

James smiled back at him, and they shared a couple of kisses before Tyler pulled out, removed the condom and threw it in the trash can. He looked down at James’s stomach and chest, scrunching his nose. “Don’t you dare suggest us taking another shower. That’s not happening again today. I’m getting you a towel.” 

He could hear James laugh as he moved towards the bathroom. He returned with two wet cloths and a towel, at which James gave him a quizzically look. He sat down next to him on the bed and started to wipe down James’s face and neck with one of the wet cloths, before using the towel to pat him dry. He used the other cloth to clean his chest and stomach, also patting him dry with the towel after. He placed a kiss on James’s forehead, before he retreated to the bathroom to put the cloths and towel in the hamper. Then he cleaned himself up, before he returned to the bedroom and climbed into the bed and settled on his side next to James. James pulled up the covers and reached for his phone.

“I’m starving. How about I order us some food? Believe it or not, but Ojai actually has a couple of restaurants that delivers.” 

“Sounds good”, Tyler smiled back. 

They spent the next couple of hours in bed eating and watching a movie on the flat screen in James’s room. Tyler normally hated eating in bed, but James loved eating it, and Tyler was to tired to get up anyway. 

Once the credits started rolling across the screen, James pushed Tyler back against the pillows and kissed him. It was a firm kiss, a kiss full of intent. Tyler immediately felt the mood between them shift and reached down to grab James's ass. Before he knew it, James was between his legs, grinding down and moaning into his mouth. He felt James’s dick hardening against his own, and his head was spinning from arousal. It was not like anything they had been with each other in bed so far, and Tyler felt excited about it. Excited to not only see the softer, caring side of James, but also the dirtier, more demanding side. 

"Fuck, Tyler. I thought the movie would never end. I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time", James growled between kisses. "Your body so close to mine. Fuck, Tyler. You have no idea what you do to me" 

Tyler felt his breath hitch in his throat at James's words. James sounded almost desperate and it did something to him. 

"Yeah? What were you thinking? What do you want?" he asked, anticipating James's answer. 

"I want to fuck you. I need to know what it feels like. Can I?" James was still breathing heavily against his neck and grinding his pelvis against Tyler's, clearly turned on. 

Tyler pushed his hips back up against James, feeling the welcome pressure against his dick. "Yes, yes, I want you to." 

James didn't waste any time and started to remove Tyler's clothes. His shirt, pants and boxers were quickly discarded onto the floor. When that was done, James speedily removed his own clothes, before crashing his body back onto Tyler and seeking his lips to kiss him sloppily. Tyler grabbed onto James's back and ass to bring them even closer together. Their warm, naked bodies were grinding against each other, and Tyler was convinced he was losing his mind. All he could think about was James, James, James. James's name was on repeat in his head, like a mantra that would bring him closer to ecstasy. 

At some point he became aware that James had moved further down and that he was now leaving open-mouthed kissed all over his shoulders and chest. He gasped as he felt James's mouth suck on his left nipple, until it was hard and sensitive. His boyfriend then proceeded to give his other nipple the same treatment. He heard James let out a pleased sound as he inspected his work, carefully rubbing his nipples with the tip of two of his fingers, before he continued to travel further down, kissing his stomach, his hips and eventually the soft area where his upper thighs met the v of his lower abdomen. Tyler was so sensitive there and his hips bucked up at the sensation of James's tongue licking a trail down his groin. Tyler didn't think it was possible for him to be more turned on, but as he could swear he heard James take a deep inhale down there, heard him smell him, he felt like his whole body went up in flames. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Fuck, James, please, please. Touch me." He couldn't stop himself from begging. He was desperate for James's touch, for him to do something, anything. He reached for James's hair and tugged at it roughly, but James didn't obey. He continued to use his mouth on Tyler, now sucking and licking his balls gently, but avoiding his dick completely. It wasn't until Tyler let out an embarrassingly loud sob that James took pity in him and wrapped his gorgeous lips around Tyler's dick and sucked him down on one motion. Tyler cried out at the sensation, involuntarily bucking his hips. He couldn't move them at any extent though, as James was pushing them down with his hands. James started bobbing his head, occasionally swirling his tongue around the head and licking at the slit. Tyler loved that James knew exactly how he liked getting blown. Tyler couldn't let him go on for long though. He was afraid he wouldn't last long and pulled at James's hair to get him to come off his dick. James got the message and released Tyler's dick from the wetness of his mouth, before retrieving the lube from somewhere on the bed.

"I'm going to finger you open, yeah? Want to fuck you, baby."

Tyler only managed to nod in return and situated himself better on the bed, spreading his legs and placing his feet against the mattress, getting ready for what James was about to give to him. He watched as James moved between his legs. He watched him pop the lid of the tube and pour a generously amount of lube onto his fingers. James seemed to hesitate for a second, before he looked up at him and spoke. 

"I haven't done this before, so tell me if I'm doing it wrong, okay?" 

Tyler reached for James forearm and rubbed it soothingly. "Just start off slow. And take your time. I reckon it's way better to spend some time on the prep than not. But go easy on my prostate, if you find it (how he actually managed to wink at James when he said that, he didn't know), or else I'm going to come before you get to the really fun stuff."

James snorted fondly at him, but nodded. Tyler rested his head against the pillows, closed his eyes and relaxed his body. He felt a finger tentatively rub against his rim and hummed in encouragement. He felt James breach his rim and immediately got lost in the sensation. He had had both his own and someone else's finger up his ass before. He sometimes enjoyed a finger rubbing his prostate while he jerked himself off or had his dick sucked. He had gotten some of his best orgasms that way. So, the feeling of a finger there wasn't new to him. But it was the first time James was doing it, and it was the first time it was done to him with the intention of fucking him after, and that made it so much more intimate. He couldn't wait to feel James inside of him. 

James was a quick learner. After a while of using his fingers to open him up (he was up to three fingers now), Tyler could feel him searching for his sweet spot. He was already panting and moaning, precome steadily leaking from his dick onto his stomach, when James found it. His back arched off the bed and he found himself clutching the sheets. He heard James praise him, telling him how beautiful he was, as he rubbed against his prostate again and again. He seemed to remember Tyler's words though, and stopped stimulating the spot after hitting it a couple of times. After using his fingers to check if his hole was stretched enough, he found Tyler's gaze, and Tyler gave his boyfriend a confirming nod to proceed. 

James didn't waste any time. He put a condom on, coated his dick with lube and positioned himself between Tyler’s legs. He placed one hand just below Tyler's armpit, and used his other to guide his dick against Tyler’s awaiting hole. James kissed him before Tyler felt his dick push inside him all the way, until he had bottomed out. Tyler's eyes fluttered shut for a moment, unable to look at James. When he opened them again his eyes were met by James's piercing blue ones. He could feel James's hot breath against his face. 

James moved so that one of his arms was wrapped behind his neck and the other one underneath his upper back. Their chests were pressed together. Wanting to be even closer, Tyler wrapped his legs around James's waist, and his arms around his neck, pushing James's body further down. Their bodies were tangled up in their proximities, and he felt so grounded, so taken care of. He wished they could stay like this for ever. 

Then James started to move. Just small thrusts to begin with, like he had to familiarise himself with the situation. But soon enough his dick was gliding in and out of him in long, even thrusts. Tyler watched how James's face became filled with pleasure, how his hair fell over his forehead, how is mouth went open and slack. He looked _beautiful_. 

At first James didn't make a sound. Tyler could only hear his breath pass his lips as he inhaled and exhaled. Tyler found that his breath had matched up with James’s, and the fleeing thought of how they seemed to be in sync at that exact moment crossed his mind, until James started pushing into him faster, and their breaths became more rapid and uncoordinated. He felt a sweat break out all over his body as James's thrusts became deeper and faster. It felt so good, having James on top of him, having James inside of him. 

Unable to hold his eyes open any longer, he shut them closed, tangled his fingers in James's hair to have something to hold on to and surrendered to the pleasure that flooded his body. And when James hit that special spot inside of him repeatedly, he felt waves of warmth shoot across his lower abdomen and up his spine. James's stomach was rubbing against his dick, and when he heard James moan his name against his lips, he wasn't able to, didn't want to, hold back. He clenched down and came hard between their bodies. James kept thrusting into him through his orgasm, before he followed him, moaning his name over and over again.

James pulled out of him, and they stayed in each other’s arms until thy fell asleep.


	10. Thursday February 3rd 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler has a shitty day and takes it out on James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not updating for so long. I had a hard time finding the motivation to write this chapter. Chapter nine was so intense, lol, and I guess I needed a break. I wrote a fic in another fandom in the meantime, and that got me back on track. I have a couple of more chapters outlined in my head and I'm planning on posting another chapter shortly.
> 
> This chapter was written on my phone during a seven hour long flight. Please ignore any mistakes.
> 
> If you are still around after this hiatus: Thank you!

James's POV

He was sitting against the headboard of Tyler’s bed, his legs streched out in front of him, with his laptop in his lap, when he heard the front door open. He glanced at the time, a bit surprised to find that it was almost 3 p.m. already. He had spent the day alone in bed, as Tyler had left early that morning to be at a scheduled read for the upcoming movie he was playing in.

«James?» he heard Tyler call out.

«In here, baby!»

He quickly closed his internet browser and put the laptop on the bedside table. His wide grin faded as Tyler appeared in the door way, loo king tired and ... annoyed? He couldn’t say that he had seen Tyler annoyed more than a couple of times and never after they had gotten together.

«Hey, what’s up? You look tired.» He reached his arm out, making grabby hands to get his boyfriend to come closer.

Tyler ignored him, standing in the middle of the door frame. «You haven’t left the bed all day?» he said, pointing towards James, who was only in boxers and a t-shirt. It sounded more like a statement than a question.

«Uh, no?» James responded confused. Tyler wouldn’t normally give him shit for staying in bed all day. In their line of profession there could be periods where they didn’t have work, so taking a day in bed was not that uncommon.

«Fuck, the kitchen is a mess, James. I hate having to clean the kitchen before I can even start cooking dinner. And Ollie was by the door, whimpering when I got in. You haven’t walked the dogs?» The annoyance in Tyler’s voice rose to an alarming level.

«Uh, sorry, I forgot.»

«What have you been doing all day, exactly?» Tyler looked really pissed by now.

«Uh,..» James answered dumbfounded, but he couldn’t get out a more coherent reply before Tyler turned around on his heels and stomped, litterally stomped, down the hallway, towards the front door, and calling for both Oliver and Bob. He heard him put on their leashes and just like that, the front door slammed shut. Only the quietness of the apartment was left behind.

James stayed in bed for a couple of minutes, trying to understand what had just happened. To say he was confused was an understatement. He reached for his phone next to him in bed to see if Tyler maybe had texted him to give an explanation, but there was no message, only a few other notifications, including an e-mail from his agent, which he ignored. He got out of bed and walked down the hallway.

He stopped when he reached the kitchen door. Tyler was right. The kitchen was a mess. They hadn’t bothered cleaning up after eating dinner the night before, too preoccupied with fucking each other multiple times until they were too tired to do anything else but fall asleep in each other’s arms. James remebered saying that he would handle the kitchen today, right before he had gotten up from the dinner table and dragged Tyler into the bed room. Tyler had only laughed.

So, technically Tyler wasn’t wrong when he was accusing James of not cleaning up, but James was confused about why Tyler was so upset about it. It wasn’t like him.

With a frown on his face, James started to clean the kitchen. He started by emptying the dishwasher and then putting the dirty plates, glasses, utensils and what not in it. He then proceeded to clean up the pots and pans in the sink, before he finished off by whiping down the counter top and kitchen table. It was all done within 20 minutes.

He felt somewhat energized by his efforts and moved into the living room and did some tidying up in there too. When Tyler still hadn’t returned by the time he was done, James decided to take a shower. He made it quick though, in case Tyler would return. He reckoned he had taken the dogs for a walk in the neighbourhood and he was usually back after half an hour when he took the dogs out for a walk.

When James opened the bathroom door after his shower, he could hear the sound of Tyler’s voice coming from the living room. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he walked closer. He couldn’t hear anyone else, so he figured Tyler was on the phone. James peaked inside the living room and spotted Tyler standing by the window, looking outside and speaking in a low voice. His shoulders looked slumped and his head was tilted a little downwards. James couldn’t help but overhear what Tyler was saying.

«You can come over and get the rest of your stuff when ever you want. Let me know if you want me gone when you come over.»

Pause.

«Of course not. Half is yours, I guess we should devide it in between us. I don’t care what you take. I’ll just buy new what ever you take with you.»

Another pause.

«I don’t care about the couch. You can have it.»

It felt too invasive to listen in any further, so James retreated to the bedroom to put some clothes on. He rummaged through the piles of clothes on the floor and found a pair of clean boxer briefs, sweatpants and a hoodie and put them on. He realised the bed room needed to be tidied up as well and started folding different pieces of garnment. He could hear that Tyler was still on the phone, but he couldn’t make out what he was saying. Might as well be, he figured. It wasn’t a conversation he had any part in. He couldn’t help but wonder what was going on though.

He was about half way through of folding the piles of clothes when he noticed Tyler standing in the doorway. He immediately stopped moving, a pair of jeans still hanging from his left hand. Unsure of Tyler’s state of mind, he decided it was best to let Tyler take the lead.

They looked at each other for a couple of seconds. Tyler looked tired, almost defeated. His face was pale and he was slumbed against the door frame. James felt a smidgeon of annoyance about what Tyler had been saying standing at the exact same spot an hour earlier, but most of all he was confused and worried. Tyler did not look good.

«Hey», Tyler said in a low voice.

«Hey.»

«So, I... Uh.. Fuck.»

Tyler was looking down at the floor, scratching his neck with his right hand. James kept quiet.

«Uh...» Tyler tried again. «I’m sorry.»

«Okay... What for?»

«For yelling at you and storming off, I guess.»

«Okay, apology accepted.»

«Really?» Tyler said, a surprised tone to his voice. He was finally looking at James.

Yes, I accept your apology for yelling at me and storming off. But would you mind telling me what’s going on? Because I somehow have the feeling that me not cleaning the kitchen and forgetting to walk the dogs isn’t the actual reason for you yelling at me and storming off.»

Tyler sighed and, if possible, leaned even further into the door frame.

«Tyler...» James spoke, taking a step closer to his boyfriend. «I’m starting to worry. No, strike that. I’m already worried.»

«Things are shitty, that’s all.»

«What do you mean?»

«I’m sorry, I shouldn’t burden you with this.»

«Tyler, what the fuck? Tell me.»

Tyler just looked at him. James could tell he was debating if and what to say. He figured he should try to help him him along.

«That phone call... Was it her? Is she coming back to LA?»

«Yes, but that’s not what’s bothering me. I mean, I can handle her being back. But we still have to figure out what we’re going to do with the apartment and all of our stuff. We got like everything inside this apartment together and now we have to split it between us, and I know I have to deal with it, but she has been nagging me about it all day. I got the first text from her about it this morning, and I tried to be mature and civil in my responses. I mean, I don’t want to fight with her over this, and I’m willing to grant her a lot of what she is asking for, but it has to be fair too, you know? I guess she is still really hurt by how I ended it, and I can’t help feel quilty about that. And she is flying in tomorrow, and she let me know today and expects me to have everything ready, like right now, and I don’t think that is fair. And with all these texts coming in, I got distracted and the reading went to shit, which makes me feel really unprofessional on top of everything. And I don’t want to dump all of this on you, but I guess I kind of just did. I’m fucking sorry, I’m a mess. That’s why I was upset when I came home.»

James watched as Tyler sank down to the floor and ended up sitting with his back against the door frame, which looked quite uncomfortable, and his arms around his knees pulling them against his chest. He looked so small like this. James hated it. He walked over to him and kneeled in front of him.

«Shit, Tyler. That’s a lot.»

Tyler let out a strangled laugh at that. «You don’t say?»

«Yeah, but you don’t have to figure out everything right now. Come on, let’s move to the bed. It’s not comfortable down here.» He pulled at Tyler’s hands and got him to stand up, before he gently pushed him towards the bed. They lied down, on their sides looking at each other.

Once settled, James leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Tyler’s mouth. Tyler smiled at him sheepishly. «Thank you», Tyler murmured.

«You don’t have to thank me. I’m here for you, not just for the sex and the fun stuff, but for the hard parts too. Don’t ever think you have to deal with anything alone because you feel like you might burden me. You don’t. And I know dealing with the break up sucks, but I’m here for that too. I am the reason it happened after all.»

«Don’t say that. You didn’t ruin my relationship with her. It was already ending, it just took me some time to accept that. It’s just that you didn’t have to deal with dividing your belongings with your ex, since the apartment and furniture and everything is yours. So, I thought I shouldn’t bother you with that on my end, you know.»

«Tyler, why are you so unrational about this?»

«What? That’s not nice.»

«Yeah, sorry. But I don’t get your way of thinking. If you’re having a hard time about something I want you to tell me. There will be times when one of us is dealing with something, and I think we should be there for each other. It’s not like you have to hold back because I’m doing better at that particular point in time. How’s that going to work?»

«Jesus, how did you get so smart?» Tyler teased.

«Fuck you, Tyler.» James chuckled back.

«No, seriously, James. You’re right. But I mean it, you are smart and amazing. I want that for us too. Thank you for being there for me.»

«Any time, baby.»

This time it was Tyler who leaned in for the kiss. James hummed at the feling of their lips pressed together. Kissing Tyler was so, so, so nice.

«What now?» Tyler asked when he pulled back.

«Now I’m gonna take charge of dinner.»

«That means take out», Tyler chuckled.

«Yes, it does! My treat! And then we’re going to figure out what to do next, and we’re doing it together. I think we should consider going to my apartment for a couple of days, to get some distance from everything. But we can talk about that after we’ve eaten, okay?»

«Okay. But I think you might be on to something. If you don’t mind having me over.»

«Tyler», James groaned. «I’ve practically been living in your apartment over the last couple of weeks. Of course I don’t mind! I think it’s only fair I help you out. But that’s not even the point. I want to be there for you.»

«Okay, okay, I get it.»

«Good, now let me order some food. And before I forget, I’ve got a surprise for you. One of the reasons I forgot to walk the dogs today, besides the fact that I’m a useless unemployed actor these days..»

«Hey, don’t talk yourself down like that!»

«Yeah, yeah», James waved him off. «Anyway, I got us tickets to go to the next concert The National is having in LA, which happens to be next week.» James said excitedly.

«Wait, you did what!?» Tyler almost yelled with enthusiasm.

«Yup! I did.»

«They’re like one of my favourite bands!»

«Yes, I know, baby.»

«Thank you. I love you.» Tyler said, pulling him in for a hug.

«I love you too. Now let go of me so that I can order some food so that I can feed you. You need the energy. We’ve got stuff to figure out.»

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently got a tumblr: himmelskys
> 
> I haven't posted much yet, but come talk to me if you have something on your mind! ❤️


	11. February 8th 2017

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler is still dealing with post-break up stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter where Tyler is dealing with post break up stuff, I promise…

Tyler’s POV

He rushed over from the parking lot to the apartment building, couldn’t get there fast enough. He pushed through the front door and headed for the elevator, pressing the elevator button impatiently, as if pressing more than once would bring the elevator to the ground floor faster. Once the elevator arrived and the door opened, he quickly stepped inside and pushed the button that would bring the elevator up to the floor of James’s apartment. He groaned quietly when he saw a woman step inside the building and wave at him as a signal to hold the elevator, but managed to fake a smile as she thanked him once she stepped inside. He groaned again when he realised she pushed a button that would make elevator make a stop on the floor right below the one he was getting off on. This was taking too long. He wasn’t getting there fast enough.

He faked another smile when the woman wished him a nice evening before exiting the elevator. He leaned forward to push at one of the buttons to make the doors slide closed faster, but they didn’t, and he wondered in annoyance what the purpose of the button was if it didn’t indeed make the doors close any faster. He didn’t get the chance to really ponder about it, because fucking finally he heard the ding sound that meant that the elevator had reached its final destination. In a few big steps, he was in front of the door to the apartment, the spare key James had given him already in hand. He locked himself in and made a short pause in his tracks, trying to figure out where James was. The apartment was quiet. He was just about to call out for him, when he saw him coming out from the bed room.

«Hey, baby. I heard you come in. How...» James managed to get out, before Tyler flung himself at James, his arms wrapped around his neck and his nose buried in the crook of his neck. He breathed in James’s scent as he clung to him, clung to him as if his life depended on it.

«Tyler...»

«Just hold me» Tyler interrupted. «I need you to fucking hold me.»

He let out a deep sigh and almost melted against James’s body when he felt James’s arms wrap around his waist tightly. He felt James press a kiss against his hair, and he nuzzled his nose against James’s neck in response. This was where he belonged, where he needed to be. Together with James, in his arms, away from all shitty things in the outside world.

They stayed like that for a while, until Tyler felt he was ready to let go a little bit, just so that he could pull back enough to look up at James. James looked back down at him, before he pressed his lips against Tyler’s. It was a chaste kiss. A kiss filled with comfort and care. Tyler felt so, so grateful. Grateful to be done with it. Grateful that he was finally here, in his boyfriend’s arms. Grateful that James was supportive.

«How did it go?» James asked in almost a whisper.

Tyler had to clear his throat before he could answer. «It was... ok, but also awful, if that makes any sense. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I thought she would be madder, more difficult. But she wasn’t, so that made it somewhat ok. But, shit, I hope I’ll never have to do that ever again. You never get to leave me, you hear me? I never ever want to decide which one of us gets to keep what furniture or fucking kitchen utensils or...»

«Shhhh» James said quietly against Tyler’s ear. «I’m not going to leave you. Don’t talk like that.»

«You can’t promise me that», Tyler said, logically knowing that nobody could make that promise and know for sure that they would keep it, but at the same time he was desperately hoping that it was true. True that he was it for James and that James was it for him. He couldn’t picture himself not being with James, had already pictured them being together, living together, spending their lives together in his head. It was ridiculous, he knew. They had only started this relationship, but he already knew it was what he wanted. But it was like he didn’t dare to believe in it, couldn’t believe James was making that promise.

«Yes, I can», James responded, sounding the sincerest Tyler had ever heard him. James pressed a kiss against his forehead, as to underline the statement. «I’m not going anywhere, baby.»

Tyler felt something break inside him hearing James’s words. A wave of emotions flooded through him, overwhelming him. He didn’t know how to explain it to James, not even to himself, what or how much he was feeling. He heard himself whimper embarrassingly before his knees threatened to give out. James noticed immediately and wrapped his arms around Tyler’s waist even tighter, steadying him. Tyler clung to him, his arms still wrapped around James’s neck and his face back at pressing against James’s neck.

«Baby, you are shaking.» James sounded concerned, trying to pull Tyler’s head away from his neck to look at him. Unsure if he could handle meeting James’s eyes with his own, Tyler refused to meet James’s gaze, kept his eyes closed and pressed his lips hard and desperate against James’s mouth, small whimpers threatening to escape from the back of his throat. Needing more, he tried to push his tongue into James’s mouth, but didn’t succeed when James kept his mouth shut.

«Please», Tyler begged, feeling his desperation reach a new level. «I need you. I- I need you to want me.»

«Fuck, Tyler», James muttered against his lips, before he reached down and hoisted Tyler up by his thighs. Tyler wrapped his legs around James’s hips eagerly and sighed deeply as James finally granted his tongue access to his mouth. He clung to his boyfriend as James carried him to the bedroom, making sure their lips never parted, needing to stay connected.

He tightened the grip with his arms and legs as James lowered him onto the bed, anxious that the movements would make them part, but James seemed to understand what Tyler needed and kept him close. Once Tyler had his back on the bed, James lied down on him, blanketing him with his body entirely. Tyler had his arms and legs still wrapped around him and they lay like that, kissing urgently, lips gliding against each other, tongues taking turns licking into each other’s mouths.

«What do you need, baby?» James asked after a while, panting against his face.

Feeling overwhelmed, his chest aching and his mind all fuzzy, Tyler wasn’t able to even know what to ask for. He could only stretch his neck out for a kiss and whimpered when he felt James’s lips against his own yet again. James wasn’t going to let him off the hook though. After pressing his lips against Tyler’s, he pulled back to nuzzle his nose against Tyler’s cheek, before he asked again.

«Baby, tell me what you need, I’ll do anything for you.»

Tyler whimpered again, unable to hold the sound in. Normally he would have been embarrassed about it, but the emotions crashing through his body like waves, his need to be with James, to focus on the person who had become his everything, wouldn’t allow that to even surface into his consciousness.

«I just want you. Need you to take care of me», he managed to get out.

James didn’t say anything, just leaned in and kissed him with intent and a promise to give him...everything. He started to pull of Tyler’s clothes, item by item. And when he was done, he undressed himself as well, before he lied down on top of Tyler again and got back to kissing him. He grabbed underneath Tyler’s thighs and lifted his legs up and around his waist, before he wrapped his arms underneath Tyler’s back and shoulders. Then he lifted him up and positioned their bodies so that James was sitting on the bed with Tyler in his lap.

«Going to take so good of you, baby», James spoke and held him tightly in his arms, pressing their bodies close, making Tyler’s dick rub against James’s stomach. He felt James’s hard on press against his ass and couldn’t hold back a downwards grind against James’s pelvis.

James groaned and reached underneath one of the pillows to grab the lube which hadn’t been tidied away from the previous night. Tyler’s breath hitched at the realisation of James’s intentions and he spread his legs to give James better access.

The prep was intense, but efficient. Before long James was lining up his dick against Tyler’s rim and Tyler began to sink down onto him, his arms around James’s neck and their foreheads pressed together. He felt a sweat break out over his entire body as James’s length split him open. A moan escaped his lips as he bottomed out, his ass cheeks resting against James’s thighs. He felt his body shiver and immediately James’s big hands started to stroke his back soothingly.

«Are you ok?» James asked and pulled him closer, his eyes full of love and care.

Tyler nodded, feeling so safe and taken care of in his boyfriend’s lap. It wasn’t a feeling he was particularly familiar with. He usually took on the role as caregiver in any situation. But with James it was different. He found that he could let himself be open and vulnerable and at the same time don’t be ashamed of what he was feeling or feel the need to hide it. He could depend on James not holding his feelings against him, but be there for him and understand him. So, when James started to move, Tyler clung to him and let himself be taken.

James started slowly at first, just carefully rocking against Tyler, while whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Eventually his movements became more eager, and he held onto Tyler’s hips and started to thrust upwards, into him. James’s grip was tight, holding Tyler close and Tyler moaned at the sensation of James’s dick gliding in and out of him.

«More, more», he begged unconsciously and James obliged by thrusting harder, deeper. Tyler threw his head back and let out a deep moan as he felt James’s dick hit his prostate. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes by how overwhelmed he felt, not only by James’s dick inside him, but also by the emotions building up inside him, almost bursting him open.

James seemed to notice the state Tyler was in and held him even tighter. Tyler didn’t think it was possible to be held tighter than James was already doing. But he hoped James would never let him go.

He continued to moan as James repeatedly kept hitting his prostate in a steady pace, not especially fast, but with firm, decisive thrusts. Tyler felt a warmth start to build in his lower abdomen and a small tremble in his thighs.

«Want to take care of you, Tyler», James panted as Tyler tilted his head down to look at him.

«You are, you are», Tyler chanted in return. «Keep going. I want to come like this.»

«Yes, baby», James moaned in return, continuing at the same pace. And when Tyler started to hold his breath and his body started to shiver in pleasure, James snaked a hand between them and wrapped his fingers around Tyler’s dick and started to stroke him. It was pure bliss, and Tyler came in a matter of seconds. And as he clenched around James, James came too.

Tyler stayed in his boyfriend’s lap a while after, his head resting against James’s shoulder. James kept stroking up and down his back, until Tyler stopped trembling.

«How are you feeling?» James asked.

«I’m good. Better», Tyler responded, still feeling a little emotional.

«Let’s lie down», James said and pushed Tyler down onto the bed. His head landed on one of the pillows. James lay down beside him and pulled him close so that Tyler’s head was resting against his shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, just breathing each other in.

«I think we’re going to try to terminate the lease of the apartment», Tyler said eventually. «None of us really want to stay there any longer. She can’t afford it by herself and I don’t want to. I want, no, I need to find another place.»

«You know you can stay here until you do, right?» James said.

«Thank you», Tyler spoke in a low voice. «You know I’m leaving to shoot Polaroid soon. I don’t think I’ll be able to put in the energy to find a new place before I leave», he sighed.

«Then it’s settled. You are staying with me until you leave.»

«Thank you.» Tyler sighed in relief.

«You don’t have to thank me. I’d love to have you stay here. I love you.»

«I love you too.»


End file.
